Together
by TVjas
Summary: This starts the morning after Always. Castle and Beckett work on their new relationship as they struggle to stay safe from the dragon and end his reign of terror.
1. Chapter 1

_Can you read one more Always cover? That is where the series left us so it is hard to ignore. I'm trying to take it in a different direction than some of the other stories I've read. Hopefully you will enjoy it._

* * *

Castle awoke with a start lifting his head up to look around. My God, Kate Beckett was lying next to him in his bed. It wasn't a dream after all! They had pulled apart during the night. Kate was lying on her stomach her head turned away from him. Her left arm was stretched out across the bed. Her right arm was closer to her side but her hand still brushed up against his side. He glanced at the clock. It wasn't even 5 o'clock yet.

Castle rubbed his eyes. He should be ecstatic this morning but everything felt off. His mind started replaying the emotional roller coaster he'd been on the past few days. He was so afraid the case was going to lead them back into her mother's case. When it did, he watched as Beckett spiraled out of control. She wouldn't listen to reason and Esposito was going to have her back no matter what because he knew if he didn't she would go in alone. Ryan and Castle both knew that it was insane, but she was determined to take Maddox down and didn't want anyone getting in the way.

Castle knew he had to stop her. He went to her and told her everything. He told her about Mr. Smith and how he had struck a deal to keep her safe unless she went after them. All Beckett could see was that Castle had lied and betrayed her. He begged her to give up the case. He told her he loved her and begged her to choose him over certain death. She was unstoppable though. Castle knew he couldn't watch her die again and he was certain this time she would die. He set his jaw and told her they were over and walked out of her life forever.

It was Alexis' graduation and although she would be giving the valedictorian speech, Castle was the one giving the performance of his life. Castle was determined that nothing would spoil his daughter's big moment. When he returned to the loft, his emotions ran the gamut but the key one was anger. He could work with anger. Anger could propel him forward. He could disguise anger. It was the despair lurking beneath the anger that he was afraid of because he knew if it bubbled to the surface his mother and Alexis would read it in his eyes and he was determined that wasn't going to happen. He focused on the excitement of his little girl graduating and he focused on how truly proud he was of her. This evening was all about her and he wouldn't let anything spoil that. No one suspected that he had a care in the world. He had to smile a little as he thought about how his mother would have applauded his performance had she known.

Then afterwards, Kate showed up at his door. Castle wasn't pleased, didn't even invite her in, but she pushed her way in. She said she was sorry. She kissed him but Castle didn't respond. He caught her wrists. He had to know what had happened. She said she almost died and she could only think of him. She said Maddox got away and she didn't care – she only wanted Castle. Then she kissed him again. He was still wary, but the desire and need of 4 years overwhelmed him. He kissed her back, his bottled up passion finally unleashed. As they kissed the overwhelming sensations of her lips, her tongue, even her hands in his hair turned his brain to mush. He couldn't think about anything except taking her to his bed.

Castle had fantasized about sex with Beckett for years. Some of those fantasies made their way into the Nikki Heat books. Their first time though he knew would be special. He visualized it being slow and sensual. They would lovingly explore each other's bodies. He had even pictured making her laugh or at least smile as they satisfied each other's every desire.

Of course, it didn't happen anything like that. Once they got to his bedroom, they continued kissing each other with a fervor neither had experienced before as they ripped each other's clothes off. When he couldn't immediately undo the button on her pants, he jerked them open, the button flying off. When the offending clothing had been dealt with, they fell into bed and attacked each other with a need and desperation that only years of sexual tension could produce. Soon Castle was on top of her. He had a frantic need to be inside her and he thrust himself deeply into her again and again. Suddenly, he realized her whole body was trembling – no shaking - beneath him. He immediately stopped suddenly terrified that he was screwing this up and she wasn't ready for this or that he was hurting her.

"Kate, what's wrong?" he asked his concern showing in his voice.

"I didn't know…" her voice trembled as though she was crying or getting ready to cry. Rick reached up and gently brushed his fingers along the side of her face. He could feel the dampness of her tears. "I didn't know how much I wanted…needed you." Rick stroked her face again and then kissed her. He was so overwhelmed to hear her say that. "Please don't stop," she said rocking her hips into him. He didn't need any more encouragement than that. He was sure his need for her was greater than anything she was feeling.

He collapsed on the bed beside her when it was over and collected her into his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and molded herself into the side of his body. He clutched her to him still desperately trying to prove to himself that this was really happening. Maybe if he held on tight enough she wouldn't somehow disappear into the night. Their ragged breathing and pounding hearts were slowly returning to normal. There was no talking. They were both exhausted emotionally and physically. "I love you," he finally whispered into her hair. There was a small sigh of acknowledgement. It was only a few minutes later that they both fell asleep.

Rick rubbed his hand over his face. What they had last night was raw, desperate sex. He looked over at her. It was still too early to really see more than her shadowy figure. He wanted to wrap himself around her. He wanted to make love to her the way she deserved.

Frankly, he was afraid to wake her up. Now that his brain was back in working order he could analyze what had happened last night. He knew they should have talked before they ever had sex. He needed to know exactly what happened yesterday. Kate's MO was to run from things that overwhelmed her. She admitted that she had almost died yesterday and she came running to him. Was her whole purpose to have sex so that she could feel alive or did she really have an epiphany and realize that she loved him and that was more important than even her mother's case? Castle sighed. She didn't say she loved him. He was afraid that once she woke up and realized that she had impulsively had sex with him that she would be off and running again.

He glanced at the two piles of clothes on the floor. He knew her clothes were still soaking wet. He eased himself out of bed so he wouldn't wake her. He threw his clothes on the bench at the end of his bed. He gathered her clothes up and took them to the laundry room. If she was going to run, she might have to think twice if her clothes were in the washer.

* * *

_If you like it let me know. If you don't like it please tell me why._

_I_Love_Reviews_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for the kind reviews and I appreciate everyone who is following this story._

* * *

Castle returned to the bedroom. Kate Beckett was naked in his bed. There was no way he could not touch her. She looked like a rag doll that had been haphazardly thrown on the bed. The sheet covered her lower body except her left leg was sticking out of the covers as it stretched across the bed like her left arm. Her hair was strewn across her back and the pillow. He knew she needed to sleep but he couldn't help himself. He crawled back into bed. If he could hold her without waking her, he would. He lay on his side, his head propped on his hand. He reached his left hand out and started to lightly stroke her back. He smiled. If nothing else, he was an optimistic person. She willingly came to him and she was still here – in his bed! He hoped they could talk everything out and he hoped their relationship was truly moving forward.

If she woke up now she would berate him for doing the 'creepy staring' thing again. He couldn't help himself. He loved staring at her, as she worked or slept or really did anything. He wrapped his arm around her and gently pulled her to him. She gave a slight moan as she shifted her position snuggling in closer to him, her back pressed up against his chest. He wrapped both arms around her. He didn't think she really woke up, but then her arms came up and cradled his arms as he held her. "Castle," she breathed out contentedly. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. Her eyes were still closed. Castle relaxed and closed his eyes too.

The next thing he knew, she was pulling away from his grasp. Instinctively he tightened his grip.

"Castle," she said probably more sharply than she meant. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Sorry," Castle muttered relinquishing his grip on her, realizing he had been asleep. There was light flooding in through the windows now. Kate groaned a little as she rolled out of bed and started to walk stiffly to the bathroom. Castle finally got his eyes focused. It was 7:12. He looked up at Kate. Suddenly he realized her body was covered in bruises.

"Oh my God, Kate. You're hurt!" Castle leaped out of bed and was instantly by her side. Kate put her hand on his chest to stop him.

"Bathroom," she said raising an eyebrow. Castle awkwardly gestured toward the bathroom door, realizing that she wanted a little privacy.

Castle sat on the bed with his head in his hands. When she told him she had almost died, he assumed that somehow she had avoided being shot, not that she was nearly beaten to death. He was angry at Maddox and wanted to kill him himself. He was angry at Beckett for being so reckless with her life. Maybe he was more angry at himself for walking away when there might have been something he could have done. The truth was he wasn't a cop. He wasn't trained to fight. He didn't have a gun. He probably would have been useless if he had been there.

He heard the bathroom door open and he stood up. Beckett came out. She appeared to be moving a little less stiffly. Just moving around probably helped a little. She smiled at Castle. She couldn't help it. He looked just like a scared little boy. Well, maybe not scared, more like worried.

"Kate, you need to see a doctor."

"Castle, I know I have a lot of bruises, but I'm sure there's nothing broken."

Castle put his arms around her – gently. Kate rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. After several seconds, she said, "I really need a shower."

Castle looked down at her. She really seemed short without her heels on. A smile played across his lips. "I can be very helpful in the shower."

"Then you'll have to show me," Kate replied with a matching smile.

"Although I would love to wash you myself, I would be afraid of hurting you. I could wash your hair for you though." Castle said enthusiastically as they stepped into the shower.

Beckett was close to declining, but suddenly had a vision of him washing Alexis' hair when she was little. He was probably very good at it. "I'd love for you to wash my hair. First turn around and I'll wash your back." He did as he was told. "Oh Castle, your back!" Beckett's eyes were wide. "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I clawed you last night."

"No pain, no gain," he quipped. "I never even felt it last night, but I can feel it a little now."

They continued getting cleaned up. Castle finally started on her hair. He lathered it up massaging her head as he did. Beckett closed her eyes. She really enjoyed having someone else wash her hair. Having her scalp massaged felt wonderful. He rinsed her hair then applied a conditioner. He turned her around and kissed her. She was a very willing participant. There was no desperation in this kiss. It was slow and sensual. Just touching their lips together ignited a fire in him. Beckett seemed equally affected. He pulled away and gave her one of his winning smiles. "Time to rinse your hair." He got her rinsed and turned off the shower. He stepped out and grabbed the towels handing her one. He toweled off quickly and hung his towel back up.

"I have a hair dryer here," he said grabbing some things from under the vanity, "and here is a new toothbrush. I'll be back in a few minutes." Castle walked away whistling. Beckett smiled and couldn't help checking out his butt as he walked away.

Castle stopped in the bedroom and threw on a pair of boxers. Then he went to the laundry room and put her clothes in the dryer. Next he started a pot of coffee. He quickly ran upstairs and found a pair of Alexis' sweatpants and a t-shirt and brought them down. He laid Alexis' clothes on the bed then put on some jeans and a t-shirt. He was just pulling on his t-shirt when Beckett emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her. She almost looked disappointed to see him dressed. She had used the hair dryer a little – mostly just to chase away the excess water. Her hair was still fairly wet but it would air dry.

"I've got your clothes in the dryer. I found some of Alexis' clothes that I thought you could wear. I thought that would be preferable to one of my mother's muumuus." Kate laughed at the picture of her in one of Martha's insanely colorful outfits. Castle delighted in seeing her laugh and was more than pleased that Kate showed no signs of taking flight. "Before you get dressed, I want to put some arnica on your bruises."

Kate shook her head, "You are so Mr. Mom. I've never heard of arnica."

"It will help, Kate. You surely don't need to go in today. You're in no shape to be chasing bad guys."

"I'm not going in today," she replied. "Castle, I need to tell you everything that happened yesterday. I smell coffee, maybe we could talk over breakfast."

Castle nodded as he started applying arnica to her bruises. He could hardly keep from wincing when he saw the angry green and purple bruises up close. He couldn't help but wonder if he hadn't added to her bruising last night. The bruising was so bad along her ribs, he wondered if her ribs could be cracked or broken without her knowing it. It took his breath away when he saw the bruising around her neck. "Oh, Kate," he said, his voice anguished. "He strangled you!"

Kate nodded. "I promise I will tell you everything later, but right now you have some explaining to do."

Castle looked at her in surprise, "What do you mean?"

"For four long years you've kept a secret from me." Her eyes narrowed as she stared him down. Castle felt like a perp in interrogation. He had no idea what the secret could be. There certainly wasn't anything he'd kept from her for 4 years. No secret wives or anything else he could think of.

"Really Beckett, I don't have any secrets." He felt so defensive, maybe defenseless was more appropriate.

She stepped closer and he instinctively stepped back. "I can't believe you never told me," she accused.

He swallowed, "Told you what?"

She stepped closer again, "That Richard Castle has a tattoo on his ass!" She grinned and smacked his backside to emphasize her point.

Castle laughed, "Shit, Beckett. You scared me to death! You are pure evil and if you weren't injured I would get my revenge. Besides it's not really on my ass. It's more on the side."

"I never imagined that you would have a tattoo."

"Funny, I always imagined that you did. You know, something like little handcuffs tattooed on your ass."

Beckett threw a pillow at him for that. Castle deftly caught the pillow and threw it back on the bed.

"Well, it wasn't my idea. Meredith thought it would be so cute if we had matching tattoos. I was young, in love, and stupid so I went along with it. At least it's a design and not her name. I don't plan to get any more."

"Not even for me?"

"Matching handcuffs?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. She smacked him with the pillow again.

The mood had definitely lightened. Castle stepped to her smiling, his eyes twinkling. It was a look that always melted Beckett. No matter how bad things were going, just seeing Castle's humor filled and mischievous eyes and his smiling lips made everything alright. He put his hand along her jaw slightly tilting her head up so he could kiss her. He meant for it to be quick, but her soft, inviting lips drew him in. His heart started pounding as desire once again threatened to overtake him, but he was determined that they would talk before they found their way back into his bed. "I'm going to start breakfast. You get dressed and I'll have your coffee waiting, and some Tylenol."

* * *

_Hope you are enjoying it so far! I had to work Nathan's tattoo into the story. I'm sure we won't be seeing that on the show!_

_I_Love_Reviews_


	3. Chapter 3

Castle turned around when he heard Beckett approaching. She did a little spin to show off her outfit. Castle pretended to look at her with a critical eye. It was hard to keep a straight face to see her in Alexis' 'Love Pink' sweatpants and her 'My Chemical Romance' t-shirt.

"Yeah, I really should have grabbed her SpongeBob t-shirt," Castle said lending his fashion expertise.

Kate just rolled her eyes, "Alexis doesn't have a SpongeBob t-shirt."

"Well, she used to." Castle said defensively.

Kate came up beside Castle as he stood at the stove. She put her arm around his waist and stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss. He turned his head to meet her lips. It was a quick good morning kiss, but wow, it was wonderful.

"Do you want toast? I could stick that in while you're cooking," Kate inquired. Castle nodded his approval. "Oh, and there's my coffee!" Kate exclaimed as she grabbed the mug off the breakfast bar. She took a deep whiff letting out a delicious little "ahhh" before she took a sip. "I can always count on you for coffee. Oh, the toast. I got distracted." Kate went back into the kitchen, found the bread, and stuck the slices in the toaster. Then she put her arms around Castle's waist and rested her head against his back for a few short seconds. Then she headed back for a stool at the bar.

"So what's for breakfast? I'm suddenly starving. Actually I don't think I ate anything yesterday except for a stale doughnut from the break room. Oh yeah and a few M&Ms. I really need to start eating better."

"We're having sausage and scrambled eggs. The choices were somewhat limited. I need to get to the store soon. OK, I'm just about ready to dish it up." Castle grabbed a couple of plates, put a couple of sausage patties on each plate, and then dished up the eggs. He grabbed the toast that just popped up and set the plates on the bar. "Butter or grape jelly?" He asked as he opened the refrigerator.

"Just butter," Kate replied. He returned with the butter and silverware and sat down next to her.

"Oh Castle, this is wonderful!"

"It's just scrambled eggs, Beckett." Castle had been watching her since she came out of the bedroom. She looked like the Kate Beckett he'd known for 4 years, but she wasn't acting anything like her. Her eyes were bright and she kept smiling. She just looked so…so happy. All of a sudden she had become a chatterbox and she was so animated when she talked. Plus she was talking faster than normal and her voice even seemed a little higher. It was weird. He never in his wildest dreams thought she would be the touchy-feely type either. She was hugging or kissing him whenever he was within arms length.

"But it's really good. This whole morning is just…," she looked up at the ceiling for inspiration, "I don't know, everything just feels so natural. Do you know what I mean?" Castle opened his mouth to reply but didn't get the chance. Kate turned toward him and grabbed his forearm. "I mean, you know, the morning after you have sex with someone for the first time can just be so awkward." Castle almost choked on his eggs. "Gosh, I know there have been times I wondered if the guy would even call me again and of course there were times that I _didn't_ want him to call me. That's really awkward! With you though, it seems like everything is so normal. I guess it is too because we've done everything together before _except_ the sex part. It's kind of strange – but really nice." She turned back to her breakfast.

Castle couldn't quit staring at her. Seriously, it was like the teenage clothing sent her into a time warp and made her act like a teenager again. Maybe he was still dreaming or maybe Kate was on some happy pills or maybe she'd been invaded by a body snatcher. He suddenly realized he had an opportunity to speak, "I think this morning is pretty great too." He said lamely as he smiled at her, stabbed some eggs, and shoveled them into his mouth.

Kate practically inhaled her breakfast. "Wow, Kate. Can I get you something else? You must still be hungry. There's more sausage or I could make more eggs."

"No, I really ate a lot. I'm good."

Castle quickly plowed through the rest of his breakfast. "I'll freshen up our coffee and we can sit over on the couch and you can tell me about yesterday." Kate nodded suddenly quiet. Castle filled up their mugs with more coffee and started to rinse their dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

"You know, I wish you could have heard Alexis' speech last night. She really agonized over what to write but what she came up with was really profound. It wasn't the usual fluffy little speech. She was just so grown up." Castle had stopped what he was doing staring at some memory of the previous night that only he could see.

"I know how proud you are of her," Kate said. She had always marveled at what a great father he was and how much he loved his daughter.

"You're right, I'm very proud of her." Castle quickly finished cleaning up.

Kate had already wandered over to the couch and was sunk down in it. Castle sat next to her. Kate was no longer smiling. Her eyes had clouded over as she thought about the events of the previous day. She set her coffee down and snuggled into Castle's side. He put his arm around her and held her close. "Whenever you're ready," he encouraged her softly.

Kate didn't want to look into his eyes and kept her head resting on his shoulder. She was ashamed of how she acted yesterday and she also didn't want to see his eyes when she told him about the fight.

"We figured out where Maddox lived." Her voice was back to normal. It was low and unhurried and emotionless. Castle realized it was probably just nervous energy that had caused her to chatter on in the kitchen earlier. There were so many emotions to try and sort through. "Espo and I were planning on going there and taking him down. Ryan wasn't on board with it. He tried to get us to take backup with us, but I said no."

Kate had taken Rick's hand in hers and was idly running her fingers over his hand, weaving her fingers into his, then brushing over his palm, not even realizing she was doing it just needing the contact with him. "We thought no one was there and started looking around. He came out of nowhere and took Esposito out with one blow. He's OK," she added quickly.

"Then he ran up to the roof and I followed him. He disarmed me with no trouble. We started fighting. I gave him everything I had, but he just smiled. I was like a child fighting an adult." She could feel how tense Castle's body had become. "He was just toying with me. Then he hit me and knocked me off the roof." Castle gasped and his grip tightened on her. "I was able to grab onto the ledge with my fingertips and he left me there to die." Beckett's voice was still emotionless but now tears had started trailing down her cheeks.

"I knew I couldn't hold on for very long. All I could think about was you telling me you loved me and I would never have the chance to say that to you. You opened up your heart to me and I just stomped on it. I just wanted another chance so I could make it right."

"Maddox had hurt my right arm and it didn't have much strength and soon I lost my grip. I swear I thought I heard you call my name and I called for you. Then my left hand slipped off the ledge and in that instant someone grabbed my arm and pulled me up. I thought it was you, but it was Ryan. He had gone to Gates and got us backup. Gates was standing right behind him." Kate stopped there. She could tell by Castle's shaky breathing that he was crying – or trying not to. She squeezed his hand.

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you." Castle's voice sounded so pained.

"No," Kate said softly. "You were right. If you had been there he might have killed you. Because you left me, it made me realize what I was giving up. I was the one in the wrong. I could have easily gotten Javi killed." She shook her head. "I was so wrong about everything and I just couldn't see it."

"I was so angry at you last night. You put no value on your life and my love meant nothing to you. It really hurt, but it hurt even more because I was so sure that someone would be calling me soon to tell me you'd been killed. I never could have gotten over that."

Kate sat up so she could look at him. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. Hanging off that ledge gave me a clarity that I've never had. Now when I think about my mom I know she would have been so mad at me for recklessly risking my life to get her killer. She would want me to live my life and she would want me to celebrate her life instead of blindly focusing on her death. And my dad. It would kill him to lose me to the same people that took his wife. And you. I know what it would have done to you if I'd died. Even after Ryan rescued me, I was afraid I had lost you for good. I would have deserved it too because I took you for granted and lied to you and hurt you. I don't understand what made you wait for me and then take me back after I rejected you. You're a saint Richard Castle."

Rick's eyes crinkled at the humor in that statement. "I think we both know I'm no saint, but I love you, Kate. You're worth waiting for." He pulled her close and kissed her. He kissed her reverently so glad that she had come back to him, alive and wanting _him_. As he pulled back, he knew he couldn't stop there. Her lips were too luscious. He kissed her again, then dropped kisses down her long neck. She shivered.

He looked into her eyes tenderly brushing the hair back from her face. "Last night I was like a sex starved teenager and I was so rough. I'm sorry, I know I had to have hurt you. Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"

Kate laid her hand along the side of his face and gazed into his amazing blue eyes – so full of concern and guilt. She smiled, "The last thing I was thinking about last night was my bruises. I was a little too caught up in the moment. As you know, I was a little rough on you too and you have the marks to prove it. But if you'd like to make it up to me," she was using her sexy voice but couldn't help blushing a little, "I'm free now."

Castle's stomach did a little flip at the implied invitation. He smiled, a mischievous look in his eyes, "Why Kate Beckett, are propositioning me?"

"In your dreams, Writer-Boy." She stood up and started walking towards his office. She glanced back at him, "You coming, Castle? Maybe we can make your dreams come true."


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you for the reviews and to everyone following this story. I really appreciate it._

* * *

Castle wanted to pinch himself. The whole night and morning surely could have only happened in his dreams. For the second time in less than 24 hours, he was lying in bed with Kate Beckett after having sex with her. They were both lying on their backs. Castle wanted to pull her into his arms but she had groaned earlier when she had rolled on her side and he didn't want to hurt her.

This time Castle wasn't in a hurry. He wanted to take his time and explore her body. Find out where her hotspots were. His tongue and teeth slowly kissed, licked, and nibbled their way from her mouth to her ear and down her neck (her neck seemed to be particularly sensitive). He planted a gentle kiss on the scar between her breasts. Then he turned his attention to her beautiful breasts. Her breathing quickened even more. One hand grabbed at his hair, the other gripped his back. She was trying to maintain the presence of mind to not claw him again, but he was driving her wild. She finally pushed him off her, immediately climbed on top of him and planted hot kisses on his lips and along his jaw. She sat back up and pushed herself onto him and moved with a steady rhythm. Castle reached up to caress her breasts. Soon the intensity of sensations reached a new plateau. Kate threw her head back, closed her eyes and let out a moan. The rhythm of their hips steadily increased. Castle was already almost on the brink. Watching her reaction very nearly drove him over the edge, but he was trying to hold out for her. Judging by her breathing (panting?) she was almost there. She cried out just as Castle crested. Kate collapsed on his chest. She could feel his heart pounding. He put his arms around her and held her not wanting the moment to end. After a couple of minutes, Kate rolled off of him, lying on her back reaching out and taking his hand.

"That was amazing, Castle," Beckett breathed out.

"You were amazing, Kate." Castle rolled on his side and propped his head on his hand. His other hand reached over and his fingers caressed her cheek, along her jaw and brushed lightly over her lips. "I just can't believe you're here."

Kate took his hand and pressed it to her lips. "I don't know why I kept you waiting. What was I afraid of? Maybe that it was too good to be true. You know, Castle, I kind of get wrapped up in things and it's almost beyond my control – like my mother's case. I feel that way about you. That I could get so caught up in you that I could lose myself. Make myself more vulnerable than I want to be. You would have the ability to really hurt me and it's scary. This is really going to sound stupid, but you've become my best friend." Castle had a puzzled look in his eyes. That didn't sound stupid to him. He felt the same way. "Part of me was afraid that if we tried a relationship and it failed that I would lose my best friend." She smiled a small smile. "Neither one of us has a very good track record for relationships. I guess in a way I was willing to settle for just having you as a friend because I couldn't imagine not having you in my life at all." She looked into his eyes. Her eyes showed her determination. "I'm all in now, Castle. There's no going back and I don't intend to lose you because we're too hard headed to be honest and clear up our stupid misunderstandings."

Castle was stunned. Kate had never been so open and honest with him. It sounded like she was committed to making their relationship work. His love for her swelled even more. "Kate, don't be afraid of being vulnerable to me. I would never intentionally hurt you. I've loved you too much for far too long to do that. I've wanted to be more than friends, more than partners for a very long time. We can make this work." He leaned in and kissed her.

Suddenly the clock caught his eye. "We've got to get up. Alexis will be back soon. I want to talk to her about us before she finds out we're sleeping together. I'll go get your clothes out of the dryer."

They dressed quickly and went out to the lounge area. As they sat on the couch, Kate took Castle's hand. "I have more to tell you," she started. Castle stiffened slightly. He wasn't sure what was coming, but he assumed from her tone that it wasn't going to be happy news. "Like I said, Ryan got Gates involved so he could get us backup. She was absolutely livid that we went off on our own like that and she suspended both Espo and me. Castle, she said we weren't fit to wear the badge and I kind of lost it and resigned. I'm tired of not having a life of my own, a family of my own. My work was my life. My mother's case was my life. It's time I did something for me. I deserve to put myself first or," she shyly tilted her head downwards,"…or to put someone else first." She glanced back up at Castle looking through her eyelashes catching her bottom lip in her teeth waiting for his reaction.

Was she really saying she wanted to put him first? Did she quit because of him? Castle was really shocked that she had resigned. Had she really thought it out? He wasn't at all sure how he felt about it either. "Are you sure you really want to resign? You are a great detective. You are so good at figuring out the clues and reading people and understanding motives. You were always so compassionate with the victim's families." He smiled a little, "Not to mention you are so badass when you take down the bad guys in a really hot Nikki Heat kind of way. You just really seemed cut out for that job. What will you do if you're not a detective?"

Castle had some faint alarm bells going off in the back of his head. He kept thinking this was all too good to be true. Kate had a near death experience yesterday and now he finds out she also quit her job. Was he just a lifeline she was grabbing until she figured things out? He didn't think so based on her actions and what she had just said about being determined to make their relationship work, but Beckett was still often a mystery to him. Maybe in a couple of days or a couple of weeks she'll realize how impulsively she had acted and get her job back. Maybe if she quit because of him she will wind up resenting him for it and it will drive a wedge between them.

Here he was with the woman of his dreams professing her love to him – well, OK, she hadn't _exactly_ professed her love, not in so many words – but he can't seem to accept it. He must really be damaged goods to have so many doubts. Despite his doubts, he was determined to do whatever he could to make this work.

Kate looked into his eyes. She thought she saw some worry there. She ran her hand through her hair. "I don't know what I'm going to do, Castle. Right now I don't have a clue. I don't want to think about it today."

"It's probably a little scary right now, but we…" Castle trailed off as he heard the door opening. He jumped up and walked toward the door as Alexis walked in.

"Hey, Pumpkin. How was your night?" Castle wrapped her in a hug.

"It was so much fun, but I'm pretty exhausted." Alexis did look pretty worn out but still seemed excited and happy. "Oh, hi, Detective Beckett, I didn't notice you sitting there."

Kate smiled at Alexis, "Congratulations, I heard you gave a great valedictorian speech."

"Thank you," Alexis blushed.

"Kate came by to discuss a case with me. How about I make lunch for all of us? I'm going to need to talk to Kate some more after lunch."

"That sounds great, Dad. I think I'll take a little nap after lunch. I was planning to spend the night with Whitney tonight, but if you want me to stay home I can." Alexis knew her dad was feeling bad about his little girl growing up and leaving home so she wanted to give him the opportunity to say no if he was feeling too sad.

"That's sweet of you to ask, but I think I can manage another night without you."

"Thanks, Dad," Alexis said giving him a quick hug then running up the stairs. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Wait, what do you want for lunch?" Castle yelled after her.

Alexis paused on the steps. "How about grilled ham and cheese sandwiches?"

"Your wish is my command," Castle replied giving her a little bow with an appropriate hand flourish.

Castle went to the kitchen. He got out the griddle and started putting the sandwiches together.

"Hey, Dad," Alexis yelled downstairs. "Have you seen my 'Love Pink' sweatpants?"

Castle's eyes went wide as he quickly looked over at Beckett. He turned back towards the stairs, "Uhh, they're probably in the dirty clothes, Pumpkin."

"OK, I'll grab something else." Alexis replied.

Castle looked over at Kate and mouthed, "Busted!" then grinned.


	5. Chapter 5

After lunch, Alexis excused herself and went upstairs to rest.

"I don't think she suspected a thing," Kate said.

"No, we got away with it this time, probably just because she's so tired. I'll talk to her tomorrow about us. I don't like keeping things from her. The sooner she knows the better."

"Kate, I'm really impressed with how open you've been with me, but we have more things we need to discuss." Castle was more than impressed. For four years, they rarely talked directly about anything except cases. Anything more personal was not talked about at all or else their words would skirt the issue leaving the other to read between the lines. This new dynamic was much healthier and should lead to fewer misunderstandings.

Kate raised her eyebrows at him, "What else do you want to know?"

Castle rubbed his forehead not wanting to broach this subject. "Maddox tried to kill you yesterday. He has to know by now that he wasn't successful. The deal to keep you safe was only good if you stayed away from your mother's case. He may even know who Mr. Smith is by now. I think you are still in danger."

Kate's eyes betrayed her fear, "I hadn't really thought about it like that. I was thinking if I gave up the case that everything would be OK. Really, all I could think about last night was you – was getting to you." She stood up running her hand through her hair, her eyes darting around the room like a caged animal. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here. I could be putting you and your family in danger. I need to leave right away." She turned toward the door.

Castle grabbed her arm, "No!" he said sharply. His tone startled her. "We are done running. We are two intelligent people who are used to figuring out difficult problems. We will figure this out. Your leaving isn't going to keep me safe. They already know I'm as involved as you. I might even be perceived as more of a threat since I've had contact with Mr. Smith. We'll figure something out together." His words were fierce, his blue eyes were piercing. He was ready to fight her objections and he wasn't going to let her win this argument.

Kate stared at him, her eyes flashed defiantly but then they softened. She realized he was right. He probably was in as much danger as she and they would be much stronger as a team. She nodded slowly, "OK, you're right. We can come up with a plan together."

"Kate, you need to promise me that you won't run away from me again." His eyes were still intense, but there was an almost desperate tone to his voice. "When something comes up your first response can't be to run away. We were always more than partners but now we've admitted it to each other. We will always be stronger together. I…I couldn't bear it if you left me now – not after…," he trailed off. His eyes were pleading now, his voice soft. He had a glimpse of the life they could have together and it seemed like a real possibility now. He knew he would be destroyed if she were to leave him.

Kate gazed into his eyes. They were so expressive showing his love, his anxiety, and his need for reassurance. She felt like she was holding his heart in her hand. "Castle, I won't leave. We're in this together."

A look of relief flooded Castle's face. He relaxed his hold on her arm not realizing how tightly he was gripping it. He was surprised and relieved that she agreed so readily. He hugged her needing the contact as additional assurance. He let out a long breath, composed himself, and broke away from her arms. When he spoke he sounded almost businesslike. "OK, let's go into my office and do some brainstorming."

Castle led Beckett into the office. "After you were shot last summer, I worked with Ryan and Esposito on your case. We tracked down every lead we had but we really didn't get anywhere. The leads dried up and soon Gates decided your case was cold. She kicked me out of the precinct and had the boys move on to other cases. I didn't want to let it rest and I didn't want us to lose what little we had so I created my own murder board based on the info we had at the precinct. I added in the information about Mr. Smith and the file he had that was keeping you safe. I tried to find out information about Smith but I was never able to come up with anything. Anyway, here's my murder board." He picked up the remote and turned on the huge monitor. Then he retrieved a file out of the trash can. A picture of Kate appeared. He touched her picture and a detailed murder board appeared. "You can touch items to drill down and get more detail, but I don't think there's really anything in here you don't know about. I thought maybe we could take a fresh look through all this information and then decide where to go from there. Maybe something will finally jump out at us"

Kate's eyes narrowed, "I'm still having a hard time with you keeping this all from me, telling me to stop working on my mother's case and then you were still digging into it."

Castle met her eyes, "I'm sorry Kate. I had to make you stop to keep you safe, both from Maddox and from yourself. You know you would have become obsessed with the case and you probably would have gotten yourself killed by now. No one knew I was even looking into the case. I didn't do anything through police channels and frankly I didn't really make any progress so except for my communication with Smith I should have been invisible as far as the investigation goes."

Kate let out a long slow breath. She knew Castle had been trying to keep her safe. It still made her mad, but she knew she would have done the same. She had to let it go and move forward.

Kate finally nodded, "Let's review everything you have and see if we can figure out anything new."

For the next hour they reviewed everything on Castle's murder board. Kate was impressed with how thorough Castle had been. They theorized a little but most of Castle's theories revolved around Mr. Smith. He decided that he was probably someone that Montgomery trusted from years ago. Maybe he was someone from high school or the academy, maybe even a former neighbor. He probably wasn't someone that Montgomery had a current connection with. That would have been too easy to track down. Castle was a little concerned that if he did figure out Mr. Smith's identity that they might even lead Maddox to Mr. Smith and that was the last thing they wanted.

Kate shook her head, "I don't see where to go from here. I'm not on the force any more. I don't have a team any more. I don't have any investigative tools at my disposal. I just don't see how we can really move forward."

Castle nodded in agreement. "If we can't move forward in the investigation then the only thing we can do is to make them believe that you have really given up the investigation."

"But how do we do that? By now they surely know that I have been suspended. How can we convince them that I'm not going rogue?"

Castle gave her a devilish smile, "I have an idea, but you may not like it."

* * *

_Next chapter we will definitely move into new territory like I promised you at the outset. It should be up in a couple of days. Thanks for reading and let me know how I can improve the story!_


	6. Chapter 6 It's showtime!

_Castle nodded in agreement. "If we can't move forward in the investigation then the only thing we can do is to make them believe that you have really given up the investigation."_

"_But how do we do that? By now they surely know that I have been suspended. How can we convince them that I'm not going rogue?"_

_Castle gave her a devilish smile, "I have an idea, but you may not like it."_

* * *

Beckett fidgeted nervously trying to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in her dress. She adjusted the scarf at her neck. Finally she clasped her hands in her lap not sure what to do with them. She glanced around the room taking in the flowers, the little tray of donuts and pastries, and the slightly uncomfortable chairs. It was just yesterday that Castle had told her his hair-brained idea. She had reluctantly agreed to it, but she never dreamed it would all happen so quickly. If he had any other ideas, he probably ignored them just so he could watch her squirm. He was enjoying this way too much. Although he did take her out and buy her a new dress and shoes. She loved the dress too. It was a deep purple and made her eyes stand out. Of course he got her a scarf, too. She had to have the scarf to cover the bruises on her neck. It wouldn't do to have people thinking that Richard Castle had been strangling her.

Just then Castle walked in. "Here you go sweetheart," he said his eyes twinkling as he handed her a cup of coffee. Beckett rolled her eyes. Yeah, he was definitely enjoying this too much. "You'll be fine," he said confidently giving her a warm smile. Beckett could picture him saying that to Alexis as she went in to see the dentist for the first time. "It'll all be over in a few minutes."

A head poked in the door, "Five minutes guys."

Beckett looked over at Castle. As soon as this was over she was going to kill him - slowly, but right now she was depending on him to get her through the next several minutes.

"You know what you want to say, right? Do you want to go over it again?" Castle was trying to be helpful.

Kate shook her head. "I think I have it. It'll be fun," she lied shooting him a fake smile.

The head poked in the door again, "It's time. Come with me."

As they walked down the hall Castle put his arm around her, "Just remember to smile and remember that I love you." His arm squeezed her slightly and Beckett flashed him a genuine smile. Suddenly she felt like she could face anything as long as Castle was by her side. She felt protected with his arm wrapped around her. After all, they had faced death together several times and they always came through it. This couldn't be worse than death – could it?

"Rick Castle," said their host extending his hand in greeting.

"Good Morning, Al." Castle said warmly shaking his hand.

"Do you remember meeting at the Emmy's after party several years ago?" Al asked.

"Yes, I do. That was quite the shindig," Castle acknowledged. Why would Castle be at the Emmy's Kate wondered. A question for another time.

"This is obviously the beautiful Kate Beckett," Al said shaking her hand as well. "Take a seat. We'll be on in a minute." He gestured at the two bar height chairs opposite his.

Castle pulled the two chairs a little bit closer together. "Is that OK?" he asked looking out at the cameras.

"Not a problem," came a voice from the control room. "30 seconds," said the same voice. Castle and Beckett took their seats.

"We're back with famed mystery writer Richard Castle and his muse the lovely Detective Kate Beckett," Al introduced his guests. Kate and Rick both smiled. Rick gave a little wave into the camera. "Our viewers just saw a piece about your back story so they are familiar with how the Nikki Heat series got its start. I understand a new book is due out pretty soon."

"Yes it is, Al. I'm wrapping up work on Frozen Heat and it should be in stores in a couple of months."

"That's great. I understand that there is an announcement that you would like to make?" Al prodded.

Castle reached over and took Beckett's hand. "I've been following this amazing woman around for four years watching her track down murderers and getting the inspiration for the novels I've been writing, but now I'd like to announce that she is more than my muse. She is the love of my life. We are officially a couple." Castle couldn't contain his smile as he looked over at her. Kate's smile was dazzling as she gazed lovingly into Castle's eyes, a slight blush creeping over her cheeks.

"Congratulations! I know there has been speculation for years that you two were romantically involved. What finally turned the tide, Kate?"

"As a homicide detective I'm pretty well surrounded by death all the time. It takes a toll on your personal life. In the past couple of years I've had several brushes with death myself. I always loved my job, but I finally realized at this point in my life I want to concentrate on living. Therefore, I am resigning from the police force. Someone else can investigate the murders and the cold cases. For now I just want to concentrate on Rick Castle." She turned her gaze to Rick and smiled. She hoped she looked as happy as she felt.

"Wow," Al turned to look at the cameras. "So you heard it here first. One of New York's most eligible bachelors is off the market and one of our best detectives is off the force. Next up, we'll take a look at summer fashion."

"…and we're out," a voice said.

"You guys did great," Al said standing up. "I'm not at all surprised about you two becoming a couple and congratulations on that by the way. I am a little shocked that Kate resigned."

"It was the right thing to do," Kate replied.

"Thanks, Al," Castle said, shaking the man's hand. "It was a pleasure to be on the show and to see you again."

Since the segment was over, a few of the crew came over to get an autograph. Castle was very gracious with everyone, signing autographs and taking pictures with some of them. Beckett marveled at him. He always took time for his fans. Granted it wasn't like he got recognized like Brad Pitt, but she still felt people were often rude and invasive when they asked for autographs or pictures when he was eating or quietly sitting in the park. He even had been asked at crime scenes. Several times! Those requests he politely declined, but usually he interrupted whatever he was doing to comply with his fans' requests.

* * *

Lanie Parish was getting ready for work. She was working on her hair in the bathroom when she suddenly heard "Richard Castle" coming from the TV in the bedroom. She ran in there in time to catch the end of the back story piece. Then Richard Castle and Kate Beckett were introduced. What the heck? Suddenly, Rick announced that they were a couple. "Yes!" Lanie screamed jumping into the air; however she was instantly mad that she had to find out from the TV. Then she heard Kate say that she had resigned. "Just what is going on?" Lanie said out loud hands on her hips obviously pissed. "Girl, you have some serious explaining to do," she said as she leaned in and wagged her finger at little TV Kate.

* * *

Castle and Beckett were relaxing in the cab on the way home. "Did I mention how incredible you look?"

"Only 3 or 4 times. It's so much easier to look good when you go to hair and makeup. I wish those guys would come over every morning and get me ready for the day." She was obviously pleased with his compliment.

"You were gorgeous before you got to hair and makeup," Castle crooned leaning in to kiss her lips. His hand lightly brushed along the side of her face and neck. Kate's eyes were bright when they broke away, lit up by the electricity from his kiss and his touch. She could see the desire in his eyes as his hand brushed down her arm leaving goosebumps in its wake.

He sat back not wanting to get carried away in a taxi.

"So how bad was it really?" Castle asked her.

Kate shrugged. "I was pretty nervous, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be," she tried to suppress the smile that tugged at her lips. "I couldn't have done it by myself though."

Castle just smiled. "You were really great. You didn't seem nervous at all."

"Do you think it worked?" She asked afraid to get her hopes up.

"It's a good start. Paula is going to release a statement later today, so we'll get newspaper coverage and maybe even internet coverage as well. After we do the Fallon show on Friday it will really be out there. We'll just have to pretend like we're a happy couple, in case they are watching us," he smiled and gave her a quick kiss. He grew more serious. "With all of this publicity, I think it would be pretty undesirable to harm one of us. They don't want to be involved in a high profile murder if they don't need to be and if we're not investigating they won't need to mess with us."

"Hey, how about stopping somewhere for breakfast?" Castle asked enthusiastically changing the subject.

"Castle, we were just on TV. If we stop somewhere we'll probably be mobbed!"

Castle pouted. "Wait, I know the perfect place to go. Driver, take us to Maxine's on 71st. The menu is incredible but if a Belgian waffle sounds good, they are so light they can practically float away. We definitely won't be mobbed there either."

Maxine's was different. What they called booths were more like little rooms. They had walls that were about 6 feet tall. A door-wide opening allowed you to enter. Inside there was a table cloth covered table with very comfortable upholstered chairs. You couldn't see into another booth from your own booth and the only chance you had to see who was in a booth was when you walked by as you were seated.

"Wow, this really is private," Kate said. "I've never seen a restaurant set up quite like this."

"They tend to cater to the rich and famous because of the privacy," Castle said a little embarrassed afraid that Beckett might think he was flaunting his fame and fortune.

They studied the menu which for breakfast at least wasn't extensive. Beckett ordered the eggs comtesse and a Belgian waffle. Castle ordered the eggs benedict and also got a Belgian waffle.

"Kate, I'm not sure how you see us moving forward, but I really want you to stay at the loft for at least a couple of weeks until we can get a feel for how safe we actually are. I also want us to stay inside as much as possible and definitely not do anything on a set schedule. What do you think about that?"

Kate felt like things were getting a little overwhelming. She had a new relationship, lost her job, almost died and may still be a target, now she's doing TV appearances and moving into Castle's loft. Her life no longer seemed to be her own. She knew it wasn't his fault, but frankly she was having some anxiety about her loss of control. It seemed like she had no choice in anything that was happening. It was hard to argue about their need to be safe though.

"I guess that is the best thing to do," she said toying with her food. "But I'm going to have to go back to my apartment today to pack some things."

Castle could see her reluctance. He knew she felt like she was losing her freedom and he was scared that she would start seeing their fledgling relationship as a prison that she just wanted to escape. Castle put his hand over hers. "Your apartment is an obvious place for them to have staked out. It could be dangerous to go back there."

"Castle, you can't keep me a prisoner at the loft and not allow me to at least get my clothes and some of my things," she said hotly, glaring at him and reclaiming her hand.

"I just want to be sure we're careful. I'd like to have Ryan go with us."

That was the last straw. "I can take care of myself, Castle," she snapped. Her eyes were fiery. She was resentful and mad and didn't want people looking after her like she was a child.

Castle suppressed the sigh that wanted to escape his lips. This was starting to sound like their argument from the other night when he walked out. "No Kate, you can't. I know you want to, but you can't. Please for me, call Ryan and ask him to go with us." Castle's voice was firm but not angry. This wasn't something he wanted to argue about but he felt it was important.

"Fine!" she said. Suddenly there were tears wanting to spill over her lashes. She blinked them back and focused on her eggs so Castle wouldn't notice.

"Kate, I'm not trying to control you. We just need to take some precautions for a while. We're going to be OK." His voice was gentle as he took her hand and gave it a little squeeze.

It would be so much easier to stay mad if he would yell and be an ass. She kept her head down fixed on her food. She gave a slight nod in acknowledgement but didn't say anything. There was an awkward silence between them as they continued eating.

A few minutes later Beckett's phone vibrated. "Beckett," she answered.

"Why do I have to find out on TV that you and Writer Boy are together? And why did you resign and not tell me? You better start talking girlfriend!" Lanie said in no uncertain terms.

"Oh, hi, Lanie. How are you today?" Kate asked ignoring all the questions. Her mood instantly improved.

"Oh, no, no, no. Don't go actin' all innocent on me. What is going on?" Lanie asked getting more perturbed.

"Well as you know, Castle and I are together now and I quit the force. Gates suspended me and Javi and I just decided to resign. If you want more details, we're just going to have to have a girl's night out."

"Javi was suspended?" Lanie asked incredulous. "He's really got some explaining to do!" She sighed, "OK, how about getting together Friday night? You think Writer Boy will let you out of his sight long enough for a girl's night out?"

"Sorry Lanie, we're doing Jimmy Fallon on Friday. How about Thursday?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm doing Letterman on Thursday," Lanie fired back facetiously. "Kate Beckett, there is something fishy going on. You hate being in the limelight and all of a sudden you're doing a bunch of TV shows when you and Castle ought to be camped out in his bedroom. Are you two really together? Are you sure this isn't some elaborate undercover stunt? Yeah we can meet Thursday and you better have some answers for me!"

"Lanie, we are really, truly together – as a couple. I'll see you Thursday and explain everything." Warmth enveloped Castle's heart to hear her tell someone else emphatically that they were a couple.

Beckett sighed as she hung up. "That woman should have been a detective. Nothing gets by her!"

Castle grinned, "Imagine what her poor kids will have to put up with. They'll never sneak anything by her!"

* * *

_I just love Lanie. We don't see enough of her._


	7. Chapter 7

Castle was working on dinner, putting together his penne pasta and Italian sausage medley. Kate was busy putting together a salad while Alexis sat on a barstool excitedly talking about their TV appearance and new relationship.

"So how did you manage to get on a morning show so quickly?" Alexis asked.

"Well, I let Paula know what we wanted to do and that it was very important to us. She was able to get us on the show partly because she sold this as an exclusive about our new relationship, but we also got lucky that one of their segments was cancelled at the last minute. Someone on the West coast couldn't make the red eye or something. They always have filler pieces they can plug in, but a current, exclusive piece, even for a minor celebrity is always better."

"As for the Fallon show, I called Jimmy myself because we go way back. I was surprised he could get us on so quickly. I think he actually postponed someone else's appearance so that we could come on later this week."

"How do you know Jimmy Fallon?" Alexis asked wide-eyed.

Castle grinned. "Mother was putting on a charity event, gosh I guess it was back in the late 90s. Anyway, Jimmy had just started on SNL and she got him for her headline act. Of course, Mother advertised me as one of the performing celebrities before she even asked me about it. I met Jimmy at the rehearsal that afternoon and we really hit it off. In addition to our individual acts, we put together a joint act where we did impressions. It was a hit."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you did your Walken impression?"

"What's wrong with my Walken? That's one of my best impressions," Castle feigned being hurt. "Anyway, Jimmy and I were really good friends for a couple of years, but life took us in different directions and we dropped out of contact for several years. When he got his TV show, he asked me to come on the first month he was on the air. He was so nervous he asked a lot of his friends to do the show. The timing was great since I had a book to plug anyway. I knew if I asked he'd work us into his schedule somehow."

- Yesterday -

Once Castle had his idea to go public, he knew he had to tell Alexis about Kate and him right away. She had asked him to wake her from her nap by 2 so when he went upstairs to wake her, he told her that he and Kate were finally giving themselves a chance to have a real relationship. To his surprise, Alexis was thrilled. She was only concerned that maybe Kate wouldn't have the same commitment that her dad did and she didn't want to see him get hurt.

"Dad, I really wanted this for you. You have loved her for so long. If you had never moved forward and tried to make it work you would have regretted it forever. Even if somehow it doesn't work out at least you will know you gave it a chance."

"I was pretty upset when you got back with Gina. I didn't say anything because it was what you wanted, but I knew it wouldn't work. It made me mad that you were settling for her because I think you knew it wasn't right either. I think you and Kate make a wonderful couple. I respect her a lot. I just don't want to see you get hurt anymore."

"I know Pumpkin." Castle wrapped his arms around his daughter. "When I got back with Gina I was lonely." He released her from his embrace and sat on her bed, patting the spot beside him for Alexis to sit. "We had a long talk and I remembered the things that made me fall in love with her. It was just easy to start up with her again and it filled a void for awhile. Then of course we started fighting and I remembered why we got divorced."

"Kate…well, I really love Kate. I guess I've never truly been in love before because what I feel for her is so much more intense. It feels like my heart will explode because it's too small to hold all the love I have for that woman. Kate told me she wants to make me, make us a priority. She quit her job, Alexis."

Alexis was startled. "I can't believe that! Being a detective seemed to define who she is. What will she do now?"

Castle shrugged, "I don't know. It's something she will have to work out." He smiled, "So anyway you'll be seeing a lot more of Kate around here." Castle hesitated a little then added, "We're going to announce our relationship on TV tomorrow morning. We wanted to do it to really make it official and of course Gina thought it was great publicity."

Alexis looked at him quizzically. "And Kate is OK with going on TV and announcing to the world that she is in love?"

Ah, that little four letter word again. Castle was a little uncomfortable but he certainly didn't want to say that the only reason they were doing it was to try and stay safe. Of course it wasn't too likely that Kate was going to proclaim her love for him on national TV since she hadn't even said the words to him. "Like I said, Kate wants to make us a priority. An announcement just lets everyone know how serious we are."

Alexis seemed satisfied with that answer and soon left to spend the night at Whitney's.

The rest of the day had been busy. Kate and Rick had a quick shopping trip to get Kate her new outfit for the show. Rick of course, wanted to buy her more than just the one outfit but Kate wouldn't allow it.

They got Chinese takeout for dinner and had a very leisurely and enjoyable time just eating and talking. It was so comfortable and familiar but at the same time being together was somehow new and exciting. There was certainly a lot more touching and a lot more smiling. They would brush hands together, jostle shoulders, steal a quick kiss, and just enjoy any casual contact.

"So what does your fortune cookie say?" Kate asked playfully.

Castle broke his cookie open and read, "_**No distance is too far, if two hearts are tied together. **_I like that," he said softly looking into Kate's eyes.

She held his gaze. Finally her eyes broke away from his. "Let's see what mine says." She broke open the cookie and blushed when she saw it. "_**Marry a man with joy in his heart," **_Kate read. Her heart quickened at the message. Marry him? She hadn't really thought about that before but why wouldn't you want to marry a man who loved you more than life itself, and who could brighten your day while surrounded by death? 'A man with joy in his heart', that certainly described Castle.

Castle's eyes were twinkling ever so slightly. "I like that one, too, but I'm glad it wasn't mine." Kate let out a laugh.

Castle stepped forward and took her in his arms, his lips seeking out hers. Kate felt like she could melt in his arms. She didn't believe in ghosts, magic, or fortune cookies so why was she so affected by some random saying that was echoing in her head? He kissed her tenderly but his lips pressed firmer and his impatient tongue forced its way into her mouth only to be met by her tongue seeking out his. Her hands roamed through his hair and caressed his neck while his hands brushed along her neck and into her hair, stroked down her back and pulled her even closer.

They had to break the kiss to catch some air. Kate rested her forehead against his jaw. She was overwhelmed with emotion. She desired him. She was burning for him, but it was so much more than that. "I love you Castle," she finally admitted as much to herself as to him. Her voice was rough and breathless and needy.

Castle's mouth captured hers and he crushed her in his embrace totaling forgetting about her injuries. It seemed like he had waited forever to hear those words and he suddenly couldn't get enough of her. His hands were roaming everywhere and he finally gave them the task of underdoing her buttons, but his mouth wouldn't leave her lips so he was fumbling a lot. Well, at least the button was gone from her pants, he remembered with a small amount of relief.

Fifteen minutes later they were lying panting on the floor. Castle had the presence of mind not to take her on the tile floor so they made it as far as the first piece of carpet which was next to the couch. Castle propped his head on his hand so he could look at her. He was so happy he felt like it was oozing out of him. "Maybe I should put a bed in every room," he said with a grin.

Kate in turn rested her head on her hand so that she faced him. "I really don't think it would help. We couldn't even make it as far as the couch." She grinned back at him.

He reached his free hand behind her neck and tilted her toward him as he leaned in and kissed her forehead. "You've no idea how much I love you." His eyes were radiating his love.

Kate smiled in return wondering if she deserved this man that was so full of love for her. She took his hand and kissed his palm.

They still had to call their respective parents to let them know about their new relationship status and to warn them that they would be announcing it on TV the next morning. They were forced to break the spell and make their phone calls.

Both parents were extremely surprised about the TV appearance, but they were very happy that their 'kids' had finally gotten together.

Then Jimmy Fallon called back saying they would be able to come on the show on Friday. He'd have a producer call later to give him more details.

Kate sighed when all the plans were in place and the phone calls had been made. "Wouldn't it have been easier just to change our Facebook relationship status?"

Castle laughed, "That would require you to actually be on Facebook!"


	8. Chapter 8

_**Recap**: Castle and Beckett announced their new relationship on TV earlier in the day_

- Present day -

After supper Castle, little Castle and Kate went into the lounge area. They watched some mindless sitcoms, made fun of the characters and shared some laughs. Alexis watched how comfortable her dad and Kate were. He had his arm around her for a while. They shifted and Kate lay back using the arm of the couch as a pillow with her legs over his lap. Her knees were bent leaning into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her legs and rested his chin on her knee. His fingers gently ran mindlessly over her thigh.

Alexis may have had the slightest pang of jealously. It was selfish to want her dad all to herself, but she'd had him all to herself most of her life. Even when he was married to Gina, after about the first 3 months, Gina didn't seem to spend much time with her dad unless it was going out somewhere fancy and being in the public eye. Gina was all about the fame and the money. She really did care about Rick but they were just too different for it to work.

Alexis knew her dad would always make time for her and anyway she would be going off to college soon. She had hopes of developing a really good relationship with Kate and she thought Kate would want the same thing. Gina could never really relate to her. She had not been a happy addition to their family. Both Rick and Alexis spent too much time trying to keep Gina happy. It wasn't worth it. Kate kind of seemed to fit in with them. Besides she really made her dad happy and that was the important thing.

Later they played popcorn catch. You had to be at least 3 feet apart and toss a kernel of popcorn into the open mouth of the person next to you. Kate threw to Castle, Castle threw to Alexis, and Alexis threw back to Kate. After a couple of rounds they reversed the direction. They were laughing so hard it was difficult to make a good attempt at catching the kernels; however Castle was incredibly good at catching even the wildest thrown kernel. Finally, Rick stood up with hands raised over his head. "Who's the King of the Castle now?" he declared smugly.

"Oh please!" Kate exclaimed. She exchanged a glance with Alexis. Totally in tune with each other, they each grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it at Castle.

"Hey, I'm not cleaning that up, you poor sports." The girls just giggled. "OK, I'll clean it up," he said in resignation. Secretly he was happy to see them conspiring against him. He felt like they had had the perfect evening. Everyone was laughing and having fun. He had watched his girls to see if either of them appeared to be uncomfortable, but both seemed fine. He was so happy that everything was working out so well.

Alexis stood up. "I'm going upstairs. I have a lot of texts to return. See you guys in the morning." Still grinning, she gave her dad a hug. Then she hugged Kate as though she did it every night.

Kate started helping Castle with cleaning up the remaining popcorn. "Is she as OK with us as she seems to be?"

Castle glanced over at her. "I really think so."

They both stood over the trash container brushing the popcorn crumbs off their hands.

"Rick, my cheeks actually ache from all the laughing I did this evening. It was so much fun."

They both still had big smiles on their faces. Rick took her in his arms and planted a kiss on her mouth. "How about we have some wine? Although I can't believe I'm saying this, I'm not ready for bed yet."

Kate let out a laugh, "I can't believe you said that either. Sure, I'd love some wine." Castle selected a wine from the wine cooler, popped the cork, and poured two goblets. He put on some music giving the TV a rest.

They returned to the couch with their wine. Kate took a drink after she sat down. "It was a lovely evening," she said.

"It really was wasn't it," Castle replied happily.

Kate was surprised at how relaxed she had been all evening. She had been concerned that things might be awkward with Alexis. The girl seemed to be very accepting of their new relationship. Kate was grateful. She always thought Alexis was a great kid and she and her dad had a great relationship. Kate didn't want to come between them or strain their relationship in any way.

"I was glad you made me call Ryan. I really needed to talk to him anyway to thank him for saving my life. I was kind of shocked that he was afraid I'd be mad at him for telling Gates. I mean he saved my life!" She shook her head remembering just how close it had been. "I need to figure out a way to get Esposito to see that Ryan did the right thing. Espo really hates him right now and that's on me too."

"You can talk to Esposito in a couple of days once he cools down. Tell him how grateful you are for what Ryan did and that you're sorry you put both of them in that situation. I think he'll come around."

Kate nodded, "I certainly hope so. I want them to be partners again and have each other's back once Espo gets back."

"I think it made Ryan feel really good to accompany us to your apartment. I think it made him feel like he was part of the team again in some way."

Kate smiled, "Yeah, he was eager to help out and when everything was OK at the apartment, he seemed really happy just to hang out with us for a few minutes while I packed my things. He's really a good guy."

Rick sobered quickly, "I owe him everything for saving your life. I will figure out something appropriate to pay him back. You know both of them would give up their lives for you."

She nodded. They were both quiet for a few minutes, sipping their wine, lost in their own thoughts.

Rick leaned his left shoulder into the couch so he could look at her easier. "I really am sorry, Kate."

Kate looked at him surprised at how serious he seemed. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry we had to announce our relationship so publicly. I know you are a very private person. I respect that and I wish we could have started our relationship like normal people. You know, have a few dates. Not tell anyone about us until we were good and ready. Not tell the world for a long time." She could tell he was truly concerned about it.

"Does it upset you that we announced it so publicly, so quickly?" Kate asked.

Castle smiled somewhat apologetically, "No, I'd gladly shout it from the rooftops, but I'd like to know how you feel about it."

Kate took a drink of wine. "I won't lie. It does bother me. If circumstances were different I wouldn't have wanted to reveal our relationship so quickly, especially to the world, but I'm OK with it."

"As far as the public appearances go, actually it wasn't too bad doing the show this morning. Not as bad as I thought it would be anyway. If our Jimmy Fallon appearance is as short and sweet it will be fine." Kate smiled trying to be confident.

Castle quickly averted his eyes and reached for his drink.

Kate squinted her eyes at him. "What?"

"What?" Castle returned, eyes wide with innocence.

"You're keeping something from me," she accused.

Damn, if she wasn't using her interrogating voice. Mental note – falling in love with a detective may not be the smartest idea.

"You've seen Jimmy's show," he said, trying to disguise his nervousness. "Sometimes he wants his guests to do a little extra segment with him and he wanted to do one with us."

Kate instantly could feel the ball of nerves growing in her stomach. "What kind of an extra segment?" She thought she did pretty well keeping her voice even.

"He didn't exactly say, but he plays beer pong, Pictionary, charades, things like that with his guests. That wouldn't be bad would it?"

"Castle, you know how nervous I get in front of an audience." Kate was far from convinced.

Castle decided he was going to have to have enough confidence for the both of them. "It will be fine, I promise. Jimmy is going to make whatever it is really fun. You'll get caught up in it and have a great time. OK?" He was smiling reassuringly at her and put his hand over hers giving it a little squeeze.

Kate shook her head in defeat giving up her protests. Surely Castle could sell ice cubes to Eskimos. "I'll give it a shot. I'm just not totally comfortable in your world. I imagine most of the women you date love the public appearances and getting photographed on your arm. I feel kind of like I'm in a fish bowl."

"Kate, the public part of my life is not my world. It's far from what my real life is like. I thought you understood that. This evening is what my world is about, enjoying family and friends. The public appearances are just to put on a persona to satisfy fans or like we did today, to use it for a personal agenda. You really think I was a wild playboy while I was raising my young child? That was the persona Black Pawn dreamed up." There was a hint of something in his voice, maybe disappointment or hurt.

"I did believe you were a playboy. Every photograph I used to see had you with a beautiful woman and it always seemed to be a different beautiful woman. I mean that was before I knew you. Then I met you and you were this cocky, flirty guy whose every sentence contained sexual innuendo. You were exactly like I pictured."

"Well, maybe I oversold the playboy image a little too much. Don't get me wrong, I certainly wasn't celibate throughout Alexis' childhood, but apparently I'm not as shallow as you think."

"I'm sorry. I guess I just thought you changed your ways after you started working at the 12th." Kate was afraid this conversation was going to deteriorate into a fight. "I'm not concerned with what you used to be. It doesn't matter to me if you were a playboy before. I fell in love with the wonderful, loving, caring, loyal, funny, smart, and sexy man that I got to know over the past 4 years." She leaned in and kissed him. She hoped engaging him in a kiss would soothe any hurt feelings that he might have. If he was upset at all he seemed to immediately forget about it as her teeth teased his lower lip and her tongue easily glided into his mouth. He was quick to respond, their mouths engaged in the dance that had become a common occurrence in the past couple of days. Castle pulled back. His hands cupped her face, their faces just inches apart. He wanted to see her beautiful eyes, now more green with only a hint of brown. They shone with her love for him. His heart overflowed with tender feelings for her. There was a hint of a smile on his lips that lightly touched his eyes as well.

He marveled at how different his love for her could be. Sometimes it was fierce and possessive. Sometimes it was tender and sweet. Sometimes it was a little desperate. He was sure it had many more sides to it and he was anxious to experience every facet of it. He regretted that they hadn't gotten together earlier, but they were here now and he intended to make the most of it.

"You know, I think I'm ready for bed now," he said taking her hand and pulling her to her feet.

"Me too," Kate smiled. She put her arm around his waist and tucked in against his side. Castle happily put his arm around her and guided her back to the bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Recap**__: Castle and Beckett announced their new relationship on TV and are spending time together._

Kate awoke early. Castle's luxurious sheets softly caressed her while his huge bed perfectly cradled her body. She could almost still feel Castle's lips whispering their love over her body. She smiled as she stretched her arms over her head, then moaned as her abused ribs protested. Ooo, maybe not a good idea. She felt them tenderly. There was one spot in particular that was quite sore. Maybe she actually cracked a rib, but she thought it would have hurt more. It probably wasn't the smartest idea to be having sex while she was still injured, but it was so worth it.

She looked over at Castle. He was on his back, his mouth slightly open, making soft snoring noises. She smiled and watched him sleep. Everything about him seemed so adorable – except when everything was so hotly desirable. She was looking at his profile. Even though she always accused him of doing the creepy staring thing, she did her fair share of staring at him. She was just less obvious. She remembered once at the precinct he had been engrossed with a game on his cell phone and she stared at him for quite a while without him noticing. It struck her then that his profile looked like a Greek god. The straight line of his nose, his strong chin definitely made her think of a statue of Apollo she had seen. That was back when she was mostly annoyed with him so her love for him wasn't causing her to think he was handsome, he just was – in a Greek god sort of way. She smiled and rolled her eyes at her own thoughts.

She suddenly realized there were a lot of things she didn't know about him. Did he like to sleep in when he didn't have a reason to get up? It was only 7:33. Was it too early to wake him? She kind of figured he made breakfast for Alexis most mornings, but she didn't even know that for sure. Well, she couldn't lie in bed all day. She got up and threw on her robe. First she would get coffee started and then she would see if Rick wanted to get up.

After she started the coffee, Kate returned to the bedroom. She removed her robe and crawled back in bed. She cuddled up to Rick's side and started lightly running her fingers across his abs then up to his chest. Castle twitched awake at her touch.

He quickly got his bearings. "Good morning beautiful," he said with a smile wrapping his arms around her pulling her closer. "This is the perfect way to wake up."

"You hungry?" Kate asked.

"Ravenous," Castle replied as he rolled them over so Kate was on her back. He leaned over her and planted a good morning kiss on her lips. His lips wandered down to her neck seeking out her most sensitive areas and causing light shivers to traverse her body from her scalp down to her thighs. His left hand covered her breast. It was the perfect handful. He bent down and kissed the other breast. Kate's chin quivered slightly and she closed her eyes as he brushed his hand lightly down her side.

"I like breakfast in bed," He said with a smirk.

It was almost 9 o'clock when they got around to making breakfast. Kate insisted on making pancakes. Rick insisted on having bacon with their pancakes. Kate rolled her eyes but didn't complain when Rick cooked some up.

"So what are we going to do today?" Kate asked.

"I think we should stay in. So we could watch movies or read or have sex," Rick wiggled his eyebrows at his last suggestion. Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes. The man was insatiable. Not that she was complaining…

After they got their breakfast dishes washed up they decided to watch a movie. Castle insisted that Beckett pick one. She decided on "Pretty Woman".

"Chick flick," Castle muttered.

"What was that?" Beckett asked knowing perfectly well what he had said.

"Great flick," Castle answered. He actually liked it so wasn't upset at all at the selection.

After they started watching the movie, Castle was glad Kate had selected it. She so obviously enjoyed it. She kept saying things like "I love this part!" or grab his arm and say "Watch this" or "watch the elevator guy's face. He's so funny!"

In the middle of the dinner meeting scene, Castle suddenly stood up. "Um, I'm sorry, could you excuse me for just a few minutes?" he sounded apologetic.

"Sure," Kate said a little puzzled. "Should I stop the movie?"

"Oh no, go ahead and watch. I'll be back soon." He hurried off towards his office.

Before she knew it the movie was over and still no Rick. Kate was starting to wonder if she had done something to upset him. She got up and walked over to his office. He was sitting there typing on his laptop. His fingers were flying. Kate stood in the doorway watching him. He was so intent on his typing he never noticed her. Kate smiled. It dawned on her that something had suddenly inspired him and he had to quickly get to his laptop to get it down.

Kate thought that she might as well make herself useful and she decided to clean the kitchen thoroughly. She went to the laundry room and found some cleaning supplies. She cleaned the sink and countertops, wiped down the stove and refrigerator, then started mopping the floor.

She looked up when she heard the door open. Alexis was home. "Hi Kate," she said happily as she entered. Alexis glanced in the office as she walked by on her way to the kitchen. "Uh oh, I guess Dad is on a writing jag."

Kate nodded, "Yeah, he's been at it for a couple of hours."

"Well, I just stopped by for a minute. Actually, I'm going shopping with Whitney and her mother."

Alexis went into Castle's office. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Oh, hi, when did you get home?" Castle paused from typing. He only spared his daughter the briefest glance before his eyes returned to the screen.

"I'm going shopping and thought I'd get your credit card."

"Sure Pumpkin," Castle said distractedly already starting to type again.

"Whitney and I are meeting guys we found on-line," Alexis added with a huge grin winking at Kate.

"OK, have a good time," Castle replied having no clue what Alexis said. Kate's hand flew to her mouth to stifle the laugh that threatened to escape.

Alexis went into her dad's bedroom to get his credit card out of his wallet. As she came back through the office she said, "By the way, Dad, did you know that Kate is here?"

Castle froze, a shocked look on his face. He quickly stood up and saw Kate standing in the office doorway. "I am so sorry Kate. I just had a thought I needed to get down." He gestured weakly at the laptop.

"Bye, Dad, Kate," Alexis called out as she went through the door.

"Bye," Kate and Castle said simultaneously.

Castle turned to Kate. "Really Kate, you should have made me stop. I just get carried away sometimes. I'm so sorry."

Kate couldn't hold her laughter any more. She had no idea how wrapped up he got in his writing. She had tried to be quiet so she wouldn't disturb him, but apparently she could have set off fireworks without disturbing him. "Castle, it's fine. I know you are behind on the book. You have to get your work done. How about I sit by your desk and watch you work?" she said teasingly.

Castle looked appalled, "Um, no, you, uh, would just be bored. Do you want to finish the movie now?"

"Oh Rick, the movie ended over an hour ago. It's lunch time now."

Rick raked his hand through his hair obviously embarrassed and flustered that time had gotten away from him like that. "God Kate, I don't ever want to ignore you like that."

Kate stepped forward and put her arms around him. She landed a gentle kiss on his lips. "It's OK, Rick. Even though we are together now, we can't be attached at the hip. We both need to have lives apart from each other too. If I had a job, I'd be running off to work and you wouldn't think less of me. It shouldn't be any different just because you work at home."

Castle smiled, "You are very understanding – and smart – and sexy."

"OK, big boy, don't get carried away." Kate with a laugh.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Kate picked out a couple of books to read from Castle's vast library. They had supper with Alexis and shared another enjoyable evening together. The next day was almost identical.

* * *

That night Kate had her first nightmare. She was reliving the scene on the rooftop only her mind was rewriting parts of it.

She was fighting with Maddox but this time she was a child of about 10. He towered over her and terrified her. In real life her adrenaline and training had kept her going. It hadn't permitted her to be afraid, but in this dream she was a child experiencing terror like she had never known.

_She opened her mouth to scream but her terror only allowed her to get out a sobbing gasp. Maddox grabbed her arm and she hit him and kicked him but she was so little and he was strong. He just laughed and slapped her across the face so hard that she fell and rolled off the roof. She managed to hang on by her fingertips. She cried and begged him to help her, but he just laughed and walked away. _

_Then she heard Castle calling her name. She started screaming for him saying she couldn't hold on much longer. Suddenly his face appeared above hers. "Help me!" she screamed._

_Castle shook his head. "You shouldn't have rejected me." He watched as her fingers slipped off the ledge and she plunged toward the street below. _

Kate snapped to a sitting position. Her chest was heaving, gasping for air. She was drenched in sweat, wisps of hair stuck to her face and neck. Her heart was about to burst through her chest. She looked at Castle. He was on his side facing away from her still sound asleep. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Her chin quivered. Tears pooled against her lashes and gradually slipped out leaving wet trails down her face. She couldn't stop them. She brought her hand up to her chest, her fist protectively covering the scar of the bullet that nearly cost her her life. She took a trembling breath and glanced over at Castle again. How could he just watch her die? She knew it wasn't fair. He hadn't let her down, but the nightmare had been so vivid.

Kate quietly got out of bed. She found her robe and made her way to the couch. She curled up in a ball in the corner of the couch and sobbed.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Recap**__: Castle and Beckett announced their new relationship on TV. They had a few good days together then Kate had a terrifying nightmare._

Castle rolled over. Somehow, his foggy brain was trying to tell him something. He made the effort to wake up enough to figure out what it was. He finally realized Kate wasn't in bed. He squinted at the clock. It wasn't even 4:30. She was probably in the bathroom or getting a drink of water. He lay there for a few minutes but there was no sound coming from the bathroom and it wouldn't take long to just get a quick drink. He sat up and rubbed his hand over his eyes. He should make sure she's OK. He yawned and rested his head in his hand for a few seconds. He knew he was being silly. Maybe she couldn't sleep and was up reading. Still he just had to see for himself that she was OK. He dragged himself out of bed and put on his boxers.

The office was dark so he continued on to the lounge area and saw the glow of the TV. He was right; she just couldn't sleep and turned on the TV. He walked over to her and saw that she was asleep. He grabbed the throw off the back of the couch and bent down to cover her up. Even with just the dim light of the TV he could tell she had been crying. He knelt down next to her and brushed his fingers along the side of her face. "Kate," he said softly not wanting to startle her. He brushed the hair away from her face. "Kate," he tried again a little louder. Her head moved and then she opened her eyes. "Hey," he said softly still caressing her face.

"It's still dark," she whined.

"Why are you on the couch?" Rick asked gently.

He could almost see the wheels turning as she tried to figure it out, but then she suddenly sat up clutching the throw around her. "I had a nightmare." She was agitated and slightly rocking herself.

Rick could see that she was still extremely upset by it. He sat on the couch next to her and put his arms around her pulling her to his chest. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was just my fight with Maddox, but I was more terrified in my dream than when it was actually happening. There isn't much to talk about."

Castle held her close, trying to comfort her. He took a guess as to why she was so upset by the dream. "Did Ryan get to you in time in your dream?"

Kate shook her head against Castle's chest, "No, I fell and that's when I woke up." She didn't want to go into all the details of her dream. She just couldn't get over Castle standing there watching her die. She had no desire to make him feel guilty for something he did in her dream.

Castle kissed the top of her head. "Come on, let's go back to bed. I'll hold you until you go to sleep."

Kate nodded and he led her back to bed.

Kate fell asleep in the safety of Castle's arms. Castle stayed awake to make sure she was OK. Once he heard her regular, even breathing, he allowed himself to relax and he sank into a deep sleep.

Kate woke up several times throughout the rest of the night, not really able to settle her mind for restful sleep. She finally decided to get up at 6:30.

Rick awoke later and quickly realized that Kate was no longer in bed. He immediately got up worried that she'd had another nightmare. He threw on his robe and found her sitting at the breakfast bar drinking coffee and reading one of the books she had picked out of his library.

"Kate, are you all right? Did you have another nightmare?" Rick asked putting his hand on her back and leaning down to kiss her cheek.

She smiled, "No more nightmares. I'm fine, just couldn't sleep any longer. I was waiting on you for breakfast, but I thought you would sleep longer." She stood up and went around the counter into the kitchen.

Castle's concern was showing in his eyes. "I was worried about you. Are you sure you're OK? Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, "No, I don't really want to talk about it. I'm fine." She was already at the refrigerator taking stock of what there was for breakfast. As she got the eggs out, Castle came up behind her. He put an arm around her waist and with the other hand brushed the hair back from her neck. His breath was warm on her neck as his lips brushed the sensitive skin.

"God, Castle, give it a rest!" Kate snapped, shrugging him off.

Castle stepped back dropping his arms to his sides. It felt like a knife had been twisted in his stomach. His mouth hung open slightly. His brows furrowed over his anguished blue eyes.

Kate rubbed her forehead. "Look, I'm sorry, it's just…I can't…there's just no place to get away…" She caught herself before she completed her thought.

"From me," Castle rasped out completing her sentence for her. "To get away from me." He stated it flatly knowing that's what she intended to say but not understanding – apparently not understanding anything.

"I…I just need some space. I'm not used to being surrounded by people 24 hours a day. I'm used to a lot of alone time and it's hard for me to make the transition." Kate finally looked up at him. Devastation clouded his eyes. She almost felt sick to her stomach that she was once again causing him pain. She looked away. "I'm sorry Rick. I don't mean to hurt you."

Rick swallowed audibly, "You can stay in the guest bedroom if you want." His voice was barely above a whisper. He hoped she would decline, throw her arms around him and tell him he was being silly.

Kate desperately wanted to return to her apartment and just be alone with her own thoughts in her own space and try to figure things out. She knew if she left it would hurt Castle even more and he would also be worried sick about her safety. Instead, she nodded, grabbed her book and immediately headed for the stairs.

Castle watched her climb the stairs. He had no clue what had just happened. He sank down on a stool at the breakfast bar. His elbows were on the bar and he rested his forehead against his hands. His hands were actually shaking. How could everything fall apart in an instant like that? He didn't think he had said or done anything to upset her. He just couldn't lose her now. Castle took a deep breath trying to calm himself. When had the act of breathing become so difficult? He needed to push aside the hurt for a minute and try to figure out what had happened.

First of all, she was still here. If she had decided that they were a mistake, she would have left. He had no doubt about that. Just that thought calmed him a little. Between nearly dying, quitting her job, starting a new relationship, and moving in with a crazy author her head was probably spinning around faster than that kid's in "The Exorcist".

He spread his palms on the counter in front of him. The cool granite was soothing and quieted his shaking hands. He closed his eyes. He slowly breathed in enough air to fill his lungs then gradually blew the air out through his mouth trying to relax his shoulders as his chest contracted. That helped.

On top of everything else, Kate was starting to have terrifying nightmares that were interfering with her sleep and she also had to deal with her boyfriend smothering her with too much attention. He knew that she needed a lot more space than he did. If he had just seen some signs, he could have backed off. He sighed. It seemed like he had been walking on egg shells for 4 years. Now he wondered if he would be walking on them for the rest of his life. He smiled slightly at that. He would be incredibly lucky to have Kate for the rest of his life – eggshells or not.

After a while, Gina hated him being affectionate with her. She always said he would muss up her hair, or makeup, or outfit. He thought he and Kate were so in tune with each other. He was sure she'd been as enthusiastic about their physical relationship as he was. He needed to believe what she said, that the only problem was that she just needed some space. Maybe she'll only need a few hours. Castle could only hope.

Around lunch time, Kate came downstairs. Rick was typing in his office. She went to his office door and stopped, waiting for him to notice her. He looked up almost immediately. She knew he wasn't engrossed in his writing. That was probably her fault too. "I just wanted to get a couple more books if it wouldn't disturb you," she said shyly gesturing towards his bookshelves.

"Sure," Castle said. He wanted to ask if she was OK, but he kept quiet.

Kate hurriedly grabbed a couple of books but stopped at the door and turned towards Castle. He looked at her expectantly. "Um, I was just going to make myself a sandwich. Would you like one?" She asked hesitantly.

Castle shook his head, "Thanks, I'll grab something later."

Kate nodded and went to the kitchen. She gathered the ingredients for her sandwich and started putting it together. She was glad Castle hadn't seemed angry. He was wearing his poker face though and she had no idea what he was thinking or feeling. All she knew was that she wasn't ready to deal with what happened earlier. She took her sandwich and books and went back to the guest room.

Kate came down around 5. Castle was sitting on the couch doing something on the iPad. Kate started for the office then paused and faced Rick. Her fingers were restless against her thighs. "Uh, Rick?" he looked up. "Tonight is the night I was going to go over to Lanie's. I just thought I'd go get ready." She nodded in the direction of his bedroom where all her clothes were. She struggled to look him in the eyes. Kate felt almost like she was asking her dad if she could go out on a date.

Rick nodded, "I remember."

Forty minutes later, Kate emerged. She had showered and was dressed casually in jeans and a soft white shirt partially covering a pale yellow spaghetti strap tank top. She was wearing just a minimum of makeup. Rick couldn't help drinking in every inch of her. She looked so fresh and beautiful. He felt a pang of regret that she was leaving while they still had a problem that they hadn't even talked about.

Kate glanced briefly at Rick as she headed for the door still feeling incredibly awkward. "I'll see you later."

"Kate?" Kate turned nervously back towards Rick. He gave her a small smile, "Tell Lanie I said hi."

A hint of a smile tugged at her lips as well. "I will," she promised. Rick could tell by the way she was acting that she felt terrible about what had happened earlier. She just wasn't ready to talk about it. Kate knew that Rick would forgive her when she was ready to apologize and talk about it. They both knew they were going to be OK.

* * *

_A/N I just found the video on Youtube of Nathan Fillion singing Better than Neil. If you haven't seen it, search for it. It's great! Enjoy the first night of season Five tonight._


	11. Chapter 11

Lanie opened the door and squealed as she engulfed Kate in a hug. Kate grinned. Her shoulders relaxed. She was so relieved to be away from the loft. She really did love Castle but he couldn't be her whole life and she desperately needed a break. Lanie was just what the doctor ordered.

"Get in here," Lanie ordered. "You hungry? I made up some wraps for us to snack on and we are going to drink lots of wine until I know everything that is going on." Lanie had that 'take no prisoners' look on her face.

"I love your wraps! Here let me get the goblets. We going to eat off the coffee table?"

"Of course, we want to be good and comfy." Lanie grabbed the tray of wraps and the wine bottle and Kate followed her with the wine glasses. Kate chose the overstuffed chair that she loved to curl up in. Lanie settled on the tan chenille loveseat.

Kate decided to start since she knew she was going to be in the hot seat most of the night. "Have you talked to Javi?"

Lanie's eyes settled sadly on the floor for a moment. "No, he won't pick up or return my calls. Have you talked to him?" she asked hopefully.

Kate felt terrible. She should have called him, but she was too wrapped up in her own life. "No I'm sorry, Lanie. I haven't talked to him since we were suspended."

"You've got to tell me what's going on, Kate."

Kate took a couple of bites of the wrap trying to figure out where to start. "Mmm, these are great as usual, Lanie." She finally started talking about the case they had been working on. She explained Maddox's involvement and how her response divided and basically destroyed the team. She included the fight that caused Castle to walk out on her and ended with Ryan saving her as she hung off the side of a building.

Lanie listened wide eyed occasionally interjecting an exclamation but otherwise not interrupting. "Oh my God, Kate," was all Lanie could get out.

"Of course Gates was beyond mad and suspended Javi and me. We were both mad, but I quit. I need more Lanie. I need a life that consists of more than murders and people trying to kill me."

"But giving up your job? Are you sure you didn't overreact? Maybe you can still get it back."

"I don't know, Lanie. I was so sure at the time that I was through with it. Now I am having some second thoughts."

"OK, so Castle walked out on you for good and now suddenly you two are together and doing TV shows. I seem to be missing some huge puzzle pieces. Come on spill." Lanie said as feisty as ever.

"Well, after I nearly died I did a lot of soul searching. I realized that Castle was the only thing that really mattered. My mom's case, my job, none of that mattered any more. I went to see him that night. I told him how sorry I was and that I wanted him," Kate's mouth twisted as she tried to contain her smile, "and I convinced him to give us a chance." Her mind started replaying the 'convincing' she had done.

"Come on, I need some details!" Lanie demanded.

"Well, I spent the night with him. He has the most amazing…," she bit her lip as she paused for a second, "bed." Her eyes twinkled and she grinned at her friend.

Lanie rolled her eyes. "Come on girl were there fireworks? Give me something here." She said exasperated.

"There were definitely fireworks. He was amazing, Lanie. More talented in more ways than I could have imagined, but you're not getting details."

"OK, I don't need details," Lanie said scrunching up her face in a non-verbal 'ew'.

"Well, I guess I could tell you one thing," Kate said shyly.

Lanie looked at her expectantly, eyebrows lifted.

"He has a tattoo."

"No!" Lanie said as though she were savoring a tasty morsel. "Where? What is it?"

Kate couldn't contain her grin. "It's on his right hip." Kate lightly slapped the spot on her own body. "I don't know; it's some kind of design. He said Meredith talked him into it. I couldn't believe it!"

"I'm going to file that little tidbit away for future reference," Lanie said slyly.

They took a break to eat more of their wraps and drink more of the wine. Lanie related a story about a prank one of the ME assistants had pulled on Perlmutter. It was amazing how hilarious morgue humor could be.

Lanie narrowed her eyes at Kate. "You've gone through some pretty major life changes in just a couple of days. How are you really holding up? And what's with the TV appearances?"

Kate started nervously tearing at the remains of her wrap, her eyes studying her fingers as they worked. "Truthfully everything is a little overwhelming. We thought it was likely that I was still in danger and possibly he was too. We decided the publicity would show that we were no longer pursuing the case and maybe that would keep us safe. Castle doesn't want to let me out of his sight so I have been staying at the loft. It's starting to feel like a prison. I..I snapped at him today when he was trying to be affectionate." She hadn't looked Lanie in the eye once.

"Oh, Honey," Lanie said sympathetically. "Did you make up?"

"No," Kate said quietly still not able to look at Lanie. "I've been in the guest room all day."

Lanie got up and squatted in front of Kate. "There's something else isn't there?"

Kate chewed on her lower lip. Her eyes glistened, but she didn't want to cry. "I had a horrible nightmare, Lanie. It was so terrifying and so real."

"Tell me about it," Lanie encouraged.

Kate told Lanie about how her mind twisted the fight between her and Maddox making it even more terrifying. Then she told Lanie about how Castle refused to help her and she fell. Lanie gasped. "Oh Kate, that's horrible! You surely aren't mad at Rick for that are you? It's not like he would have really stood by and watched you fall. What did he say about it?"

Kate couldn't contain the tears that had been threatening. She sniffed, "I didn't tell him about it other than I was fighting with Maddox. I know it's ridiculous but I guess I do kind of blame him for it. The whole dream was so terrifying, but Castle refusing to help me broke my heart. It was so real and devastating."

Lanie got up and grabbed a box of Kleenex. Beckett gratefully accepted it. "You need to talk to Castle about it. Are you still seeing Dr. Burke?"

"No, since I quit I haven't checked to see if I can still see him."

"Do you love Castle? Do you want to make this work?"

Kate nodded emphatically. "I've never wanted anything more."

"Well if you're done mutilating that wrap, throw it away, finish your wine and get home so you can have some makeup sex."

Kate sat up smiling and wiped the tears off her cheeks. Nobody could put things into perspective like Lanie. "Is that doctor's orders?" she asked with the hint of a smile.

"You bet your booty it is. You be sure to tell Writer Boy about that dream too."

"OK," Kate replied pulling Lanie into a much needed hug. "Thanks, Lanie."

* * *

Kate stood in front of Rick's door. She was anxious to see him but nervous at the same time. It seemed a little strange to have to knock on the door after she had been living there for several days. It was only 9:45 so she knew Rick wouldn't be in bed. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Rick opened the door wide for her to enter. He gave her a cautious smile but was careful not to touch her. "Do you feel better?"

Kate was worrying her lower lip. "Can we talk?" she asked.

"Of course, Kate."

She took his hand and led him to the couch. She sat down and pulled him down next to her. She didn't let go of his hand. She looked in his eyes and saw a mixture of hope and worry. He was trying to keep his face blank just waiting for whatever Kate had to say. It had crossed his mind that she could have decided that this – _them_ – wasn't what she wanted. He was trying not to hold his breath as he waited for her to say something.

"I'm so sorry about how I acted earlier. Everything just overwhelmed me and I really…I just need a little space once in a while. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I love you, Rick." She started tearing up. Her teeth grabbed her lower lip, "I love you so much."

Rick's eyes were watery, "I love you too Kate," he said with a catch in his voice. His hand started toward her but then he dropped it. "You scared me earlier. I was afraid you wanted to leave for good."

Kate suddenly realized that Rick was still sitting there stiffly wanting to hold her but afraid to touch her. God, she seemed to screw up everything. It wasn't going to be much of a relationship if he was afraid to touch her for fear of getting his head snapped off.

She reached her hand behind his neck and pulled him closer as she leaned in to kiss him. Their lips met delicately. Rick brought one hand up along her neck his thumb lightly stroking her soft cheek. He gently kissed her lower lip that she constantly mistreated, then pressed his lips against hers very gently and lovingly. Castle soon broke off their kiss. He hooked his arm under her legs and pulled her into his lap. One large hand cradled her head to his shoulder. His other arm wrapped protectively around her.

"I missed you today," he said quietly resting his cheek into her hair.

"I missed you too." Kate nuzzled into his neck and shoulder, breathing in his unique Castle scent, made up of his cologne mixed with a faint laundry smell and a hint of something totally his own. She loved being wrapped in his arms pressed against his warm, broad chest. She was a cop but she felt so safe in his arms.

Maybe their relationship would always be complicated, but moments like this made it all worthwhile. Kate sighed contentedly. She knew the makeup sex would be even better.


	12. Chapter 12

_He grabbed her wrist. She twisted and kicked and hit him with her small fist. He laughed at her as she cried from the pain and terror._

Rick jerked awake after a fist caught his shoulder. Kate was mumbling something unintelligible. Her arms and legs were weakly flailing. It was obvious she was having a nightmare. "Kate," he called out. It sounded like she mumbled his name in response. "Kate," he said louder this time giving her shoulder a shake. She shot up to a sitting position, her eyes wide with terror as she gasped for air. Rick put a hand on her thigh. The other hand started rubbing her back.

"It's OK, Kate. You had a nightmare. Everything is going to be OK. I'm right here," Rick's voice was soothing. He continued to say whatever he could think of to calm her down trying to make his voice the lifeline to pull her back from the depths of her horrifying nightmare. Kate grabbed his forearm as if her life depended on it. As her ragged breathing evened out and her eyes lost their wild terror, Rick pulled her to his chest wrapping his arms around her.

Kate buried her face in his chest. She could feel his heart beating with a calming rhythm. She used it to slow her breathing. Her shoulders dropped as the tension left them. "I'm OK," she finally said.

Rick arranged a pillow behind him so he could lean back into the headboard. He settled back in a half reclining position bringing Kate with him. She snuggled into his side so that her head and arm rested on his chest. Her fingers idly played with his sparse chest hair.

"Was it the same dream?" Rick asked.

Kate nodded as she replied, "Yes. Maybe…maybe it would help if I talked about it."

"It might make it less terrifying to get it out in the open," Rick agreed.

Kate didn't really want to talk about it but she hoped that maybe it would help. "I told you all of the details of my fight with Maddox, but somehow in my dream I'm a child. I'm still trying to fight him but I'm just scared to death. When I'm hanging off the roof, you call my name and when I yell for you, you look over the edge at me. You refuse to help me and say I shouldn't have rejected you. Then I fall and that's when I wake up."

Castle had been soothingly rubbing her back but stopped abruptly when she said he refused to help her. "Kate, I don't know what to say. You know I would never do that."

"I know," Kate said, "but I think I was holding it against you yesterday. I know it's ridiculous, but it was just so real."

"Maybe if we analyze it, we can make some sense out of it." Castle offered. "I think you said your blows were as ineffective as a child's when you described fighting Maddox. So I can understand your brain making you a child in the dream. Of course you being a child makes it much scarier."

"So then why do I refuse to help you? Maybe subconsciously you are mad at me for walking out and not being there for you and that plays out as me letting you fall."

"Maybe," Kate said slowly thinking about the possibility.

"But I actually say that you shouldn't have rejected me." Castle's eyes were squinting as he thought about other possibilities. "Perhaps you feel guilty that you drove me away by rejecting my love and not giving up your mother's case. You punish yourself by having me reject you when you need me the most."

"You might be on to something there. I do feel guilty about driving you away. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you after all I've put you through, so maybe I am trying to punish myself." Kate sat up so she could look at Rick. It was pretty dark so she couldn't really read his eyes but she could see his face. "I was struggling so much with you just letting me fall. I was seeing it as you letting me down when I really needed you. I don't know, maybe I was thinking it meant you would let me down in the future. It made me doubt you for no reason. I didn't think about the possibility that I was punishing myself. I feel better already knowing that there are other plausible explanations for my dream. Thank you, Rick. You always have my back." Kate was smiling. She brushed Rick's hair back from his forehead.

"Always," Rick replied pulling her back down into his arms.

* * *

They arrived early at Rockefeller Center. The sky was an amazing sapphire blue interrupted by a few puffs of white and ghost trails where jets had once streaked across the sky. Kate tilted her face up to soak in the warmth of the sun before she had to go inside. The gentle breeze ruffled her hair. Castle caught her arm and stopped to look at her. He didn't think she had ever looked more beautiful. Her hair shimmered with golden highlights as it cascaded around her shoulders. He let his fingers comb through the soft, loose curls, catching them behind her ear. She gazed at him with warmth and happiness. There was a lightness to her that he never saw when she was on the job. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her lightly, lovingly. He beamed at her then took her hand and led her inside.

Jimmy Fallon wanted them to come in extra early so he could go over his plans for their segment. The producer met them and ushered them into studio 6b. "Jimmy's already on the stage going over a few things." He got them to the stage door then gestured for them to go on out.

Jimmy was strumming on a guitar working on a song with the Roots. He stopped the song with a wave of his hand when something didn't sound right. One of the band members nodded in Castle's direction. Jimmy's face lit up when he turned and saw Rick and he strode toward them with a huge grin. "Rick Asshole," he said running the words together extending his hand.

Rick narrowed his eyes at Jimmy but a smile played across his lips. "Haha," Rick said taking Jimmy's hand and pulling him in for a bro hug.

"Oh, did I mispronounce your name?" Jimmy asked innocently.

"Close enough," replied Rick. "Jimmy, I'd like you to meet Kate Beckett. Be nice to her. She can kill you without leaving a trace."

Jimmy shook her hand, "It's wonderful to have you here."

"Thanks, I can hardly believe I'm here. This studio is huge." Kate was a little overwhelmed. She looked over at Jimmy's desk and the chairs that she and Castle would be occupying a little later. She looked out at all the empty seats that would soon be filled with a rowdy audience. It was scary. She slipped her hand into Castle's trying to steal some of his strength and confidence.

"It is. It's my home away from home." Jimmy couldn't quit smiling. He quickly introduced them to the Roots then turned back to them. "We need to go over our little act, but would you like to join Nancy and me for dinner later?" Jimmy's eyes darted between the 2 of them.

"Kate keeps track of our social calendar," Rick said looking to Kate to decide his eyebrows raised expectantly.

"That sounds great," Kate said graciously knowing Rick would want to catch up with his old friend. "We have nothing planned for this evening."

"Wonderful," Jimmy said. "I'll text Nancy later to get us some reservations somewhere."

"OK, let's get down to business," Jimmy said clapping his hands together. "I wasn't sure what to do with you guys, but Tuesday night I sat down and wrote a song about Nikki Heat. It's got 3 verses so I figured we could each have a solo as we take a verse then we'll all sing together for the chorus."

Rick couldn't believe it. He was hoping for an easy game of beer pong so Kate wouldn't freak out. He could already see the tension in her body. Her face was studiously frozen in a blank expression, but she had a death grip on his hand and Rick noticed that her breathing had sped up. Jimmy had picked up his guitar and was running through the song for them.

Kate turned to Rick. "Rick!" she whispered through clenched teeth. Her eyes were filled with accusation and fright.

Rick eyes widened a little to express his innocence as he whispered, "I didn't know."

"So what do you think?" Jimmy asked enthusiastically wrapping up the song.

Rick took a hold of Kate's upper arm. "Jimmy could we just have a minute?"

Jimmy's gaze darted nervously between the two picking up on the undercurrent. "Oh, uh, sure. I just need to check on something back stage." He quickly took off across the stage.

"I…" Jimmy was gone before Castle could get any further.

Castle looked down at Kate. "I didn't mean for him to leave. I just thought we'd step away."

Castle put his hands on Kate's upper arms. "Kate, you've been wonderful about everything. I think this appearance is important for us, but there's no reason that you have to do any more than the interview. You have a great voice. I've heard you sing, but if you don't want to do the song you don't have to." He smiled his warm smile and lightly rubbed her arms. "You know I'll love you no matter what and Jimmy is like a puppy dog. He just wants to please everyone."

Kate's eyes were watery. She couldn't believe how understanding he was. "I don't want to let you guys down. I mean Jimmy wrote a special song and everything, but I'm terrified of singing in front of an audience."

"Hey, you don't need to worry about letting anyone down. Jimmy and I are perfectly capable of making fools of ourselves without any help. You want to just watch us?"

Kate nodded as the tension drained from her body. "Thank you, Rick," she said reaching up to give him a quick kiss.

When they turned around they saw Jimmy standing at the stage door talking to someone. He quickly joined them. "Is everything OK?

"Fine," they said simultaneously. They exchanged a look and both smiled. Rick nodded, "Everything is fine but Kate would rather sit out the song and just do the interview."

"OK, no problem," Jimmy said affably. "Kate, why don't you take a seat by the desk and you can watch us. OK, Rick, cue cards are off to your right there. I'll sing the 1st verse, you take the 2nd, and we'll both sing the 3rd. This song is really cheesy. I thought we could dance around like a couple of dorky white guys as we sing."

"Ah, type casting," Rick smirked. "I'll follow your lead."

Jimmy sang his verse while Rick spasmed around doing the dorky white guy dance. Kate was cracking up. Rick may not have been John Travolta but he always did fine on the dance floor. Singing the chorus allowed them to synchronize their horrible dance. Somehow they were managing to keep just off the beat. Rick stepped forward and sang his verse but he was cracking up at the words and Jimmy's dance moves. Jimmy started giggling uncontrollably. They were both so adorkable.

"Kate, come on over and sing the last verse," Jimmy gasped through his laughter. "We won't make you sing on the show, but this is too much fun for you to miss!" Jimmy eagerly motioned for her to join them.

Kate paused for just a second then decided to join them. They were definitely having too much fun without her. Kate's verse had been written for Nikki to sing. It was slightly suggestive having Nikki promising to restrain you and having many ways to make you talk. Kate was getting into it, singing with a sultry voice and brushing a hand through her hair while running the other one down the side of her body. Castle swallowed hard. She was so hot! The Roots applauded and whistled as she finished. Kate blushed but she was grinning.

"Oh My God, Kate! You are so amazing," Jimmy exclaimed. "You know what would be so funny? If you sang your verse all sexy like that then started dancing stupid like us in the chorus. Let's try that.

_Nikki Heat, Nikki Heat_

_She'll shoot you in the head _

'_til you wish that you were dead_

_Nikki Heat, Nikki Heat_

Kate quickly picked up the 'dance' steps they had come up with. In spite of their laughing they managed to get through it.

"What do you say, Kate, do you want to do it on the show? You're really great. I thought maybe you couldn't sing or something when you didn't want to do it."

Kate caught her lower lip between her teeth and looked at Castle. It was tremendous fun but she wasn't sure she could do it in front of an audience.

Castle grinned at her, "It's totally up to you but you really were great."

"OK, I'll do it!" There were high fives all around. They ran through it one more time. It was as refined as it was going to get.

"I've got some other things I need to do before I go to makeup. Thanks for coming in early and I'll see you later at showtime." With that Jimmy was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

It was after 10:30 when Castle and Beckett arrived back at the loft. They were laughing, each with an arm around the other. Dinner with the Fallons had been wonderful. Kate couldn't remember ever laughing so much. The food was excellent and the wine flowed freely. She really liked Jimmy's wife. They had joked about how nice it was to get their 'boys' together for a play date. Kate hoped they would be able to get together with them again sometime.

Rick and Kate may have been a little tipsy but certainly not drunk. Castle unlocked the door and held it open for Beckett to enter. He hardly had the door locked before Beckett threw her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his. Castle cradled her head in one hand, his other hand on her side, his thumb lightly caressing the curve of her breast. He allowed his lips to caress hers. Her tongue probed for access and he willingly granted it. Their tongues jockeyed for position as the occasional moan broke the silence. Castle lifted Beckett up and she wrapped her legs around his hips. A surprised laugh escaped Castle's mouth breaking off the long kiss.

"I wasn't expecting you to attach yourself to me," he said grinning at her as he held her in his arms.

"I've been waiting all day to get you alone, Castle." Beckett wasn't laughing. Her eyes were smoldering with desire and need. She leaned in and flicked his earlobe with her tongue then nibbled at it. Castle gasped as an electric current travelled through his entire body. Her legs tightened around his body as she thrust her hips into his. Castle stumbled towards the bedroom hoping to make it there before his knees buckled. His shoulder bounced off the door frame as they entered the bedroom. He was unable to think about anything except getting Beckett naked in his bed. His intense desire for her harkened back to their first night together. Oh the things he wanted to do to her.

* * *

Beckett curled into Castle's side pulling the sheet up to cover them both. She had a contented smile on her face. Her fingers lightly teased his already sensitive skin on his abs and chest until he finally put his hand on top of hers to still the movement.

"That was exquisite," Beckett said smiling.

"Exquisite? I've never heard wild passionate sex described as exquisite."

"I wasn't talking about the wild passionate sex. I was talking about the slow, deliberate, sensuous sex. You know, round two." Beckett explained.

"Ah," Castle replied in acknowledgement giving her shoulder a slight squeeze. "It was exquisite now that I think about it."

Beckett could tell without looking that his eyes were closed and he was fading fast.

"Castle?"

"Hmm?"

"Hey, it's after midnight. I want to watch the show," Kate said.

"Show?" Castle wasn't even trying to wake up enough to carry on a conversation.

"You know – Jimmy Fallon, you and me on TV, ring any bells?"

"You want to watch it tonight? We have it DVRed. We can watch it tomorrow." Castle was really tired and the bed was so comfy. He pulled her in a little closer hoping she'd just snuggle with him.

Kate sighed, "Fine, I'll watch it by myself."

"OK," he grumbled. "I'm getting up." He almost fell as he tried to get his uncooperative legs into his pajama bottoms.

"Hey you want some popcorn?" Kate called out already in the office.

"Sure," Castle replied unenthusiastically as he emerged from the bedroom still groggy.

"Hey, Castle, you have a message on your machine." Kate noticed the blinking light on the desk phone.

Castle stumbled over and pushed the button. _This message is for Richard Castle. I'm Alex Montrose, an attorney with the firm of Martin, Craddock, and Bazzini. Please call me at your earliest convenience. My number is 212-555-4529._

"What's that about?" Kate asked.

Castle shook his head. "I'm not familiar with that firm. You know it can't be anything good. Maybe someone wants to sue me." His eyes darkened, "By God it better not be Meredith with more demands."

Kate took a hold of his arm. "Hey, let's don't worry about it until we know what it is about. Come on let's watch some TV."

Castle deposited himself on the couch and turned on the TV while Kate made some popcorn. She soon joined him just as Jay Leno's musical act was finishing up.

"I'm almost as nervous now as when we actually did it," Kate said throwing handfuls of popcorn into her mouth.

"Hey, slow down," Castle advised. "You can't be hungry after that huge dinner we had."

"You're right. It's just nervous eating," Kate explained as she chomped on a mouthful of popcorn.

After his monologue and his Friday Thank You notes, Jimmy finally announced his guests, Rick Castle and the beautiful Kate Beckett. Kate leaned into Castle's side to enjoy the show.

Jimmy explained to the audience that he and Rick had met at a charity event over 10 years before and they did an act together where they did impressions. "How about doing one for our audience?" Jimmy encouraged and the audience applauded with approval.

"OK, I've got to stand up for this. I'll do a little Captain Kirk. You gotta love spaceship captains." Castle loosened his shoulders in preparation then suddenly hunched his shoulders, hands reaching for the audience, "Spock! What are…the odds that we'll… survive the…Klingon attack?" He spoke with Shatner's strange halting manner freezing his body at each pause. The voice along with the mannerisms were very good. The audience howled. Castle sat down. "I can only do about 5 people, but you can do anyone," Castle said to Jimmy. "Do a little Travolta for everyone."

Jimmy immediately complied doing the 'Saturday Night Fever' Travolta. The audience loved it. Castle and Jimmy joked for a few more minutes then Castle plugged his book and Kate related that she had resigned from the NYPD to focus on her relationship with Castle. They broke for commercial.

Kate turned to look at Castle. "You really are funny, Rick. I always knew that you kept things lighter at the precinct but you never really got much encouragement from us. Wow, the way you and Jimmy play off each other is amazing. You guys are so funny. If that writing thing doesn't work out, maybe you could become a comedian."

Castle smiled, "Thanks, but I think I better stick to my day job. Hold on I'm going to grab my phone." Castle hurried into the bedroom and soon returned with both their phones. He was already tapping on his phone as he sat back down.

"I'm checking twitter to see what people are saying. Listen to this – 'I love RichardCastle', 'You can be my captain any time', 'Rick Castle is so handsome and talented!, ' RichardCastle and JimmyFallon should go on tour together', 'Better stick to your writing'. Oh, I guess not everyone is a fan."

"OK, here we go," Castle said as the show started up again. Kate grabbed Rick's bicep with both hands and huddled into his side as though they were watching a scary movie.

Jimmy announced the debut of the 1st Nikki Heat song. Jimmy and Castle each sang their verses while doing their horrible dance. After the chorus, Kate came over and sang a sultry 3rd verse. There were catcalls and whistles coming from the audience.

Kate buried her face in Castle's shoulder and groaned, "It's like a train wreck. I don't want to watch but I can't take my eyes off it."

All 3 finished up the chorus dancing like dorks.

Castle grinned, "There is nothing more liberating than making a fool of yourself on national TV."

"Maybe no one I know saw it," Kate groaned.

Castle checked his phone again. "Here's some more twitter responses. 'Kate Beckett is hot', 'Kate Beckett should get a recording contract', 'Love Nikki Heat!', 'I've never been arrested by someone that hot!', 'I'd commit a crime if I could get her to investigate me.' Wow, you sure have a lot of fans, Kate. Oh, here's one for me, 'Rick Castle, you've put on a lot of weight'. That's so rude! Kate, am I fat?"

"Of course not!" Kate exclaimed. "But you have put on a few pounds since we met."

Rick looked down at his belly. "It was so easy to keep the weight off when I was young. But really I'm hardly fat. Seriously, why would someone even say that?"

"Hey don't worry about it. Whoever said it is probably obese but wants perfection from people in the public eye. I'm certainly not going to kick you out of bed," Kate said with a sly smile.

"That's the only thing that matters to me," Castle said with a smile leaning over to steal a kiss.

Simultaneously, both their phones went off.

"Hey, Alexis," Castle answered. "Did you like it?" Castle listened a few minutes. "Yeah, I'll be sure to tell her." Another pause. "OK, love you, Pumpkin."

Castle looked over at Beckett. She was still on the phone not saying anything but occasionally rolling her eyes.

"Lanie?" Castle asked. Beckett nodded.

"OK, yeah, well, thanks, I think," Beckett spit out. "Well, do you want to talk to him?" Beckett handed her phone to Castle.

"What'd you think, Lanie?" Castle asked with a grin. It was a couple of minutes before he got to say anything else. "Yeah, well Jimmy caught me off guard asking for an impression."

"I'm glad you liked it. Wasn't Kate's singing amazing? Almost as good as her dancing." He teased, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. Kate smacked his arm. "Alright, good night, Lanie."

"Who's Alexis spending the night with tonight?" Kate asked.

"I think it's Whitney tonight. They've been spending a lot more time together lately."

"Does she always spend so many nights away from home?" Kate inquired.

For the first time Castle thought about the fact that his daughter was spending quite a few nights away from home. It got him thinking and a little worried. "She doesn't normally spend so many nights away. Maybe she is just experiencing her freedom now that she is out of high school." That wasn't really what he was thinking. He needed to talk to Alexis to see what the real reason was. He hoped she wasn't upset by his relationship with Kate.

He didn't want to ruin their evening so he smiled at Kate and said, "Hey, there's at least a few people that thought we did great tonight." He pulled Kate into his arms. "Come on. You had fun didn't you?" Kate's lips were trying to quirk into a smile but she was resisting. Castle suddenly pretended to be serious, but his eyes were still smiling. "If you don't tell me the truth there may be torture involved." He wriggled his eyebrows at her.

"Hmph," she replied.

Castle suddenly started tickling her, "I warned you." He already knew her ticklish spots and he was being merciless.

"Castle!" she shrieked as she struggled with him. Kate was soon laughing hysterically and almost crying. There didn't seem to be any way to get air into her lungs. She wriggled and pushed and squirmed and suddenly her elbow connected with something solid. Castle sat back immediately holding the side of his face. "Oh, Rick, are you all right?" Beckett was wide-eyed and breathless.

"I'm fine," he replied. "Maybe I should stick with tickling children instead of taking on former detectives."

"Let me see," Kate said pulling his hand away from his face. "Ooo, I caught your cheek pretty good. You better ice it down." She went to the freezer and came back with a bag of frozen corn. "Serves you right."

"You never did answer my question," Castle said quite seriously. He pressed the corn bag to his cheek and winced slightly. He eyed her quizzically truly wanting to know if she had enjoyed their night.

Beckett smiled at him. "It was a mixture of insane fun and pure mortification." She stepped closer. "I think I can face anything with you – even public humiliation."

Rick grinned at her a little lopsided, "I knew you were having fun!" He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "Now is there any chance that we can go back to bed?"


	14. Chapter 14

The smell of coffee cut through Kate's sleep laden brain. She breathed in deeply of the delicious smell then finally opened her eyes. Castle's grinning face was right above her own. He was holding a mug of coffee and was waving the steam in her direction.

"What time is it?" Kate mumbled as she stretched her body to its fullest extent.

"You look like a cat getting ready to purr when you stretch like that," Castle said his grin growing bigger.

Kate scooted herself up to lean against the headboard and reached for the coffee.

"It's just a little after nine. You seemed to have slept very well."

Kate took a sip of her coffee. She closed her eyes as the warm liquid made its way to her stomach. She let out a breath and opened her eyes. A small smile touched her lips. "Thank you Castle."

He reached up and touched her cheek then ran his fingers down along her jaw. "So what do you want for breakfast?"

"Pancakes," Kate answered without hesitation.

Rick stood up. "As you wish, Milady," he said bowing deeply.

When Kate made her way out to the kitchen, Rick already had his first batch of pancakes on the griddle.

"Good morning, Sunshine," Rick said.

"Good morning yourself," Kate replied. She had already drunk two thirds of her mug of coffee and was feeling human again. She sat at the breakfast bar and watched Rick flip pancakes.

Rick glanced over at her. She seemed lost in thought. "Hey, anything you want to do today?"

Kate looked up at him. "As a matter of fact, I'd really like to have lunch with Espo. I feel bad that I haven't reached out to him. He risked his life to back me up and now his world is turned upside down. I've got to try to straighten things out."

"Did you want me to come with you?" Castle asked.

"No, I need to do this alone. I'll give him a call after breakfast and see if I can set it up." Kate took another sip of coffee. "You know, Lanie says he won't even take her calls. I'm worried about him."

"Espo is kind of like you. Doesn't like to ask for help. Needs to face things by himself. If anyone can get through to him it would be you."

* * *

Kate walked into the little hole in the wall bar. She had to stop just inside the door to let her eyes adjust. She squinted as she looked around. The place was really old and dimly lit. A long bar covered one wall. A couple of old guys sat at the bar. One of them shot her a quick glance but immediately turned his attention back to his beer. Kate imagined they were permanent fixtures. There were just a few people sitting at the tables. There was no décor to speak of except for a couple of beer signs hanging on the walls. Kate looked over at the bartender and he nodded his head towards the back. She squinted her eyes a little more and could make out a figure sitting at the back table. The ancient wall sconces provided the only light, but Kate's eyes were adjusting and she made her way to the back.

"Hey, Espo," she said as she sat down across from her partner.

"Beckett," he said with a nod in greeting.

"So is it safe to eat anything here?" Kate asked only half joking.

Javi smirked, "Actually the food's not bad. The plate lunch today is meatloaf or you can get a cheeseburger from the grill."

The waitress wandered over to their table. Kate thought she was probably in her 40s, but she hadn't aged gracefully. She was slightly overweight and her hair was short and frizzy with hints of gray.

"How you doin', Javi?" she said with a genuine smile. Her eyes scanned between Kate and Javi as though she was trying to determine their relationship. "You want the usual?"

"Yeah, Sharon, that'd be great," Javi replied.

Sharon looked at Kate. "And what would you like, miss?" Her tone was warm and her smile never wavered.

"Um, I'll have whatever Javi is having," Kate said deciding that would be safest.

"Alright, just be a few minutes,"

Espo watched her walk away then turned his attention back to Kate. His eyes were searching hers. He leaned in slightly, "So how are you doing, Beckett?"

Kate suddenly realized why Esposito had answered his phone when she called and why he had agreed to meet with her. He was concerned about her! It made sense now that she thought about it. She was the one who had fallen down the rabbit hole. She cut Castle off the team and quit her job. If Espo had been out of touch with everyone he probably didn't know she and Castle were together. He might even think she was still pursuing Maddox and needed his help.

"I'm good, Espo. I'm really good. Castle and I are together now. I've given up the case because I've finally realized living my life is more important than my mother's case."

Esposito stared hard at her. Kate felt like he was dissecting her. "That may be the bullshit you've told Castle, but I know better. You've spent your entire adult life chasing after your mom's murderers. There is no way you're throwing in the towel that easy."

Kate sucked in a breath. She hadn't expected that reaction and it really caught her off guard. She shook her head, "No, you're wrong about that. I am done with the case. It's not worth my death or the death of someone else close to me. I just want to move on."

He narrowed his eyes at her and didn't look convinced. "Then why did you want to meet with me?"

"I really made a mess of things, Javi," she said brushing her hair behind her ear. "I was totally in the wrong to go after Maddox by myself. It forced you to back me up when you knew it wasn't right. It forced Castle to walk away from me and it forced Ryan to make a choice between blindly following me which he knew was wrong or to do what was right. Everyone on the team had to make a terrible choice because of me – because of my obsession. I tore the team apart and I've been trying to make amends. I'm really sorry Javi. I should never have put you in that position and I'm really sorry you got suspended."

Esposito's expression was still hard. "You don't need to apologize." He paused as Sharon showed up with 2 cheeseburgers, fries, and beers.

"I saw my union rep. I've just got one more week of suspension. What are you going to do, Beckett? You were born to be a detective. You just going to live with your sugar daddy and go to charity events? That's not who you are."

Kate clenched her teeth and could feel her cheeks heating up. She knew Espo was angry but she didn't want to get pulled into a fight. "I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet," she said evenly trying to control her anger.

Espo took a bite out of his burger. Kate grabbed a couple of fries. They ate in silence for a few minutes.

"So are you going to be good working with Ryan?"

Espo snorted, "I'm not working with that weasel any longer than I need to. I'll be requesting a new partner or a transfer if I have to."

"Javi, if Ryan hadn't gone to Gates, I'd be dead right now. Do you realize that? My hand slipped off the ledge just as Ryan grabbed my arm. He saved my life. There isn't any way I would have survived without him. He did the right thing," Kate was leaning forward being as sincere as she could be.

"He could have backed us up himself but no, he went behind our backs," Espo's eyes flashed with anger. "He violated our trust." His nostrils were flaring as he locked his intense stare on Beckett.

Beckett slammed her open palm down on the table. "That's enough!" she said loudly. Everyone in the bar looked over at them. She dialed the volume back slightly but kept the intensity in her voice. "How dare you question Ryan's motives. He was the only one of us that actually acted like a cop. He should get a commendation. He saved my life! You'd really be happier if he just went along with the plan and I had died. Is that what you wanted?"

Javi leaned back in his chair and was now staring at his beer. He was silent for a while. "It's been hard, Beckett. You're right it was all messed up. We work so well as a team, but this time we all went in different directions. I've been mad at Ryan for not having our backs from the beginning and then when he went to Gates, it was just the last straw. I know what he did saved your life, but it was still a betrayal. I can't seem to get past it." Espo couldn't meet Beckett's eyes.

"Hey," Kate said still stern but no longer angry, "it's me you should have been mad at. You know Ryan would gladly lay down his life for you. That hasn't changed. There isn't any more a partner can give you. Now if you plan to skirt the law then yeah maybe Ryan won't be behind you. You'd have to be really wrong though for him not to have your back 100%."

Esposito nodded thinking back on the times that Ryan had risked his life for him. "I know you're right. I just need a little time to process it." He took a drink of his beer.

Kate picked up her cheeseburger and started eating. "Hey, this really is good."

Espo gave a little half smile. "So you and Castle are together. What exactly does that mean?"

Kate blushed and shrugged. "I guess you could say he's my boyfriend." She took another bite. "So why won't you take Lanie's calls? She's worried about you."

He made a face. "I'm not looking for pity just because I was suspended."

"Oh, Javi, she's not calling you because she pities you. She wants to make sure you are doing OK. I think she's still interested in you. I don't think she's ready to give up hope that you might get back together. Why don't you give her a call?"

"We'll see," he said noncommittally.

They finished up their lunch and walked out the door together. Javi turned to face Beckett. "I'm glad you and Castle are together now. That was long overdue."

"Thanks, Javi. I'm glad you get to go back to work soon."

"Beckett, I meant what I said about you being born to be a detective. I bet Gates would take you back in a minute. Not because she has a soft heart. She just wants a good closure rate. If you really don't have another plan you need to think about coming back to the precinct."

"We'll see," she said echoing his response.


	15. Chapter 15

Castle stood at the window looking down on the traffic below. The streets were still wet from the storm that had passed through less than an hour before. He took a sip of his coffee. The angry, gray clouds still hung low and most of the cars had their lights on. What a dreary Monday morning.

"Hey, Dad," Alexis said from the kitchen. "I was going to make a bagel for myself. You want one?"

"You got a shift at the morgue this morning?" Castle asked turning and walking back to the kitchen.

"Yeah, they just need me for 4 hours this morning."

"Hey, you want me to whip up something better than a bagel?" Castle asked already opening the frig to see what there was.

"No, a bagel is great." She was already slicing it open and sticking it in the toaster.

"It seems like I haven't seen much of you lately. Is everything OK?"

"Dad, I was here all yesterday evening, but I…I've been trying to give you and Kate some space so you can get your relationship off to a good start." Alexis was blushing a little as she grabbed the toasted bagel and spread cream cheese on it.

"Oh Honey, this is your home. I don't want you to feel like you have to make yourself scarce. Kate and I are getting along great but we love having you around. You don't feel like you're getting pushed aside do you?" Castle's brow was creased with his concern.

"Dad, I'm fine. I don't feel like you're replacing me with Kate or anything. I'm happy for you guys and I want everything to work out, but I know you guys need a little space to get to know each other so I'll probably spend at least a couple of nights a week at a friend's."

Castle smirked at that, "You realize I've been following her around for 4 years? I think we know each other pretty well."

Alexis gave him a look that really reminded him of Martha. "You know what I mean, Dad."

She started to brush by him but he caught her arm, "Hey, we need to do something special – just the two of us – for a day or a weekend. Whatever you want to do. Think about it."

Alexis smiled, "OK, Dad. That'd be fun. Hey, I've got to run. See you later." She stood on tiptoe and gave him a peck on his cheek.

"Bye, Pumpkin," Castle smiled at her as she hurried off.

A few minutes later Kate came out of the bedroom wearing a soft white terry cloth robe, towel drying her hair. "I thought I heard you talking to Alexis." Kate said glancing around for the girl.

"She had to run off to the morgue." Castle shook his head. "I still can't wrap my head around my little girl working at the morgue."

Kate put her arms around him. "Well, I think the problem is that she's not a little girl anymore." Kate's voice was soft and understanding.

Castle had a wistful look on his face. "I really miss the little girl she used to be." He held Kate close and rested his chin on her head.

After several seconds, Kate pushed away so she could see his eyes. "You know you've done a wonderful job with her. She's smart, beautiful, well-grounded, and how many other girls would be brave enough to take on an internship at a morgue. She's pretty amazing."

"Yes, she is," Castle agreed. "OK, I'm done pouting about my little girl growing up. How about some breakfast? I could make omelets and bacon."

"That sounds good. I'll cut up some veggies while you fry up the bacon. Just let me get dressed first."

"Need any help?" Castle offered wiggling his eyebrows. Kate just rolled her eyes at him as she retreated to the bedroom.

* * *

As Kate washed the breakfast dishes, Castle decided to call the lawyer who had left a message on his machine.

He replayed the message to get the number then dialed the phone. He had to push a few buttons when he got the canned menu selections, but he finally got connected to a real person. "This is Richard Castle calling for Alex Montrose." He was put on hold for about 5 minutes. He was already annoyed with this firm and hadn't even talked to an attorney yet.

"Mr. Castle," Alex Montrose voice came over the line. "First, I'd like to offer my condolences." Castle felt icy fingers twist his insides. He wracked his brain for who must have died that he would be notified by a lawyer. Right away he thought about Meredith. Surely not but he was scared nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, who died?" Castle asked confused.

Now Mr. Montrose seemed confused. "Why, Mr. Craddock died. I thought you knew."

Castle's brain was flooded with relief and confusion and was frantically trying to put the puzzle pieces together. "Craddock, as in your firm, _Martin, Craddock, and Bazzini_?"

"Yes, he was killed a week ago in a home robbery. It's been hard on all of us."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Castle said, "but I don't believe I knew Mr. Craddock."

There were several seconds of silence on the other end. Finally Montrose said, "I just assumed you knew him since you were named in his will."

"Really?" Castle said totally surprised. "What did he leave me?"

"He left you a painting by Emil Nolde. I guess he's kind of famous. Some of his works sell for millions. The painting is called 'Mohn', M-O-H-N. It's in storage so I haven't seen it yet. Craddock was quite a collector and would rotate paintings between his house and storage. You're lucky to get such a piece. When do you want to pick it up?"

"I'm extremely curious. Would it be possible to see it today?"

"Sure, I could set that up for this afternoon. I'll have some paperwork for you to sign and then it will be yours. Let me have your cell number and I'll text you the address and time." Castle gave him his cell number.

After he hung up, Castle googled Martin, Craddock, and Bazzini. He clicked on their website then clicked on 'Meet our Partners'. There was a picture of each partner with a brief biography. Castle studied the picture of Craddock. There was something familiar about him. He read over the biography but it seemed unremarkable.

"Hey, Rick," Kate said walking into his office. "What did you find out? Are you getting sued?" Kate came over and sat on the edge of Rick's desk.

"No, nothing like that. A guy named Craddock was murdered last week. He was one of the partners in the firm that contacted me. This guy, Craddock, named me in his will and left me a valuable painting."

"So you knew Craddock then?"

"I don't think so. I looked up his picture on their website. He did kind of look familiar but I just can't place him." Castle shook his head, "I meet so many people. I could have met him at a fund raiser or it's possible he was at a book launch if he was a fan."

"Wait, why would he leave you something if you don't know him?" Kate asked a puzzled expression crossing her face.

Castle rubbed his hand across his jaw. "I have had eccentric fans leave me things in their wills before. Once I got a valuable first edition. Usually the things don't have much value." Castle chuckled, "Like the picture someone painted of me once. It was pretty bad but Alexis liked it. It's probably still in her closet."

"Montrose told me what the painting was. I'm going to see if I can find it on the internet." Castle leaned over his laptop and quickly typed in 'Nolde Mohn'. Here it is. It's a picture of poppies. Actually he did several paintings of poppies." Castle tilted his head at the screen. "You know I actually like it."

"Where are you going to put it?" Kate asked.

"I don't know, but we're going to go see it this afternoon. It's in storage. Montrose is going to let me know when and where. I'll figure out what to do after I see it."

* * *

Rick and Kate arrived at Cirkers Art Storage about 15 min early. It wasn't far from the south end of Central Park. The receptionist directed them to some comfortable chairs in the lobby while they waited for Montrose. Montrose arrived about 10 minutes late. He rushed up to Rick extending his hand and apologizing for being late. He was younger than Castle expected - probably around 30. He was thin and almost as tall as Castle with short, sandy hair. It was the voice that threw Castle off. The young man's deep voice didn't match his looks. Castle introduced Kate as Montrose signed them in. "I've arranged a viewing room for you." He explained as a Cirker employee escorted them to the room.

When they walked into the room, Kate let out a small gasp. "It's breathtaking!" she exclaimed softly.

The picture itself was roughly 2x3 but the frame made it seem much larger. Castle walked right up to the painting. "I don't always appreciate expressionist art, but I really like this piece. You said Craddock was a collector. Did he have a lot of paintings?" He asked of Montrose.

"Yes, he has a whole room here at Cirkers to store all the works that didn't fit in his house."

"So what is going to happen to the rest of his collection?"

"He didn't have any family. There are a couple of pieces he is giving to the firm. A few of the really valuable pieces he is donating to museums. The rest will be auctioned off."

"Did he give any indication why he wanted me to have this particular piece?"

"No, I just assumed that you were a good friend that maybe admired this picture."

"So none of his paintings were stolen in the robbery?" Castle questioned.

"No, they took mostly electronics and a couple of his expensive watches. That's about all the housekeeper could figure out. It was just stuff that was easy to unload."

Rick and Kate sat in the chairs that were perfectly positioned to give the best view of the painting. Rick stared at the picture but his mind was spinning. None of this made sense. Why would this lawyer leave him such a valuable painting for no reason?

Rick stood up and addressed the Cirker employee, "Could I arrange to get this delivered?"

"Certainly, sir. Follow me and we'll get that set up. We might be able to get it to you tomorrow if you are in a hurry."

Castle nodded, "That would be excellent."


	16. Chapter 16

The Cirker delivery guys were very efficient. They quickly uncrated the painting and asked Castle where he wanted it.

"Right over here close to the piano," Castle replied pointing at the wall.

The two men held up the painting letting Castle decide exactly where on the wall he wanted it. They quickly got it hung and took their leave.

Castle and Beckett both stood with their arms folded across their chests staring at the new artwork.

"It looks great there," Kate finally said.

"Yeah," Castle said slowly not at all as excited as he thought he would be.

"So what's wrong?" Kate asked.

"I just don't get it. There has to be a reason Craddock wanted me to have it." Castle sighed. "I'm going to check the internet. See what else I can find out about Craddock, the painting, and the artist."

"Well, I'm going to go to the store," Kate said with a smile. She threw her arms around Castle's neck. "I am going to make you a great dinner. I haven't cooked for you yet." Castle opened his mouth to disagree but Beckett put her finger on his lips. "Breakfast doesn't count."

Castle smiled at her. "That sounds wonderful, Kate. I can't wait."

* * *

When Kate arrived back home, Rick was still engrossed in his computer. She put the food away and decided to go upstairs for about an hour. She had discovered that she really needed some alone time and most afternoons she would spend an hour or two in the guest bedroom. She would read or do yoga. Sometimes she would do situps and pushups. Other times she might take a nap. It was a refreshing little get away for her.

Rick rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. He must have been researching things for 2 hours. He stood up and stretched. Then he went and stood in front of the painting just staring at it. It still surprised him how much he liked the painting. He liked the contrast of the purple and yellow in the sky. It was a great backdrop for the red poppies and prominent green stems.

Kate came downstairs and saw Rick absorbed in the painting. She went over and put her hand on his shoulder. Castle nearly jumped through the roof. "Geez, Kate. You just scared me out of ten years!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you didn't hear me. Did you figure anything out?"

"Emil Nolde was a famous German expressionist. His Poppy painting was painted near the end of his career in 1950. Craddock bought it 3 years ago for over 2 million dollars. I've read everything I could find about the painting, the artist, and who's owned it." Castle let out a breath and shook his head. "Maybe I'm making too much out of it. Maybe Craddock was just a crazy fan."

"You don't believe that though," Kate stated.

"No," Rick said. "A crazy fan would have to let me know that he was a fan. I'm missing something. I feel like it is a tiny idea in my brain that is just on the verge of taking shape but it won't. Maybe it's the poppies that are the clue to some heroin dealer. It's driving me crazy." The frustration was evident in his voice as he dragged his fingers through his hair.

"OK, you desperately need a break. Come to the kitchen, have a beer, and watch me make dinner. Don't even think about this painting until after we eat." Kate dragged him by the arm toward the kitchen.

"Great plan. I could be your sous chef or at least make the salad."

Castle relaxed with his beer. Kate let him make the salad but then made him sit on a barstool while she made everything else.

"Tell me a story about Alexis while I'm cooking."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know. Hmm, OK, how about when she lost her first tooth and the tooth fairy had to come visit? That had to have been a big deal for you."

Castle smiled at the memory. "Yeah, I'll never forget that. We were eating breakfast. Alexis took a bite of her toast and the tooth just came out. Alexis was so excited. She was literally bouncing all over."

"It's funny, Alexis had a loose tooth for a while so I knew it would be falling out soon, but I never gave a thought as to what I would do about the tooth fairy part." He shrugged. "I guess it's because I'm a guy that I didn't have a plan. Later the moms at the park told me about how they had made special tooth fairy pouches to put the teeth in. Of course I wouldn't have done that anyway." He paused looking out into space.

"Well, tell me the rest," Kate said impatiently jolting him out of his reverie.

"After I dropped Alexis off at school, I went to the bank and got some Sacagawea dollar coins. I told Alexis at bedtime that the tooth fairy needed something shiny to help her find the tooth under the pillow. So I wrapped her tooth in a piece of aluminum foil and she put it under her pillow. It just made the tooth easier for me to find. The next morning Alexis found the Sacagawea coin. She'd never seen a gold coin before. She loved the picture of the young Indian mother with her baby. She thought for the longest time that you could only get those coins from the tooth fairy. I think she still has every coin the tooth fairy ever gave her."

Kate smiled, "That's a great story." It's probably not what a mother would have done, but he made it special for Alexis just the same. Even without a mother Alexis had been a lucky little girl.

The rest of their evening was easy and relaxed. Castle thoroughly enjoyed the pork chops that Kate marinated in orange juice and herbs. They weren't dried out like his always seemed to be.

The subject of the painting never came up again. Alexis came home around 11 after having dinner and a movie with some of her girlfriends. She told them a little about her evening then went up to bed. Castle and Beckett decided to scoot off to bed as well.

* * *

Castle glanced over at the clock again. It was nearing 1:45 and he still couldn't sleep. He was spooning with Beckett. His arm was draped over her. His face was almost in her hair. Her hair still smelled of cherries and although that had registered earlier with Castle, his brain was far away now. Everything related to the painting was swirling through his head including thoughts of Montrose and Craddock and the artist – and poppies. He finally slipped into a fitful sleep.

Suddenly Castle jerked awake. He sat up then threw the covers off and leaped out of bed. The commotion woke Kate up.

"Rick?" Kate said worried. Had Rick had a nightmare? He was already out of the room. She got up, found her robe and then followed him. As she emerged from the office she saw him in the kitchen. The painting was on the counter and he was grabbing a knife.

"Rick!" She called out alarmed. Was he sleepwalking? What was he thinking?

Rick looked up at her but didn't say a word. He flipped the painting over and carefully slit open the paper backing. He started tearing off the backing and there it was - a manila envelope.

"It's the file, Kate. The file that was keeping you safe. The file that has damaging evidence against the dragon. Craddock was Mr. Smith. I'd only ever seen him in the shadows in a parking garage and never really got a good look at his face, but I finally put it together," Rick's eyes were intense but his voice remained quiet. "Don't you see? We can end this, Kate."

Kate's eyes were wide with shock and concern. Her hand came up to her chest and fisted between her breasts. She looked at her partner, her lover. "Rick, I'm scared. He's killed again. I can't do anything to lose you now."

It was the last reaction Rick expected to get. She really was ready to give up the case. "Kate, I'm scared too, but we'll be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives if we don't end this. Come on let's see what we have."


	17. Chapter 17

Castle spilled the contents of the envelope on the granite counter. There were some newspaper clippings, papers, and a CD. Castle and Beckett exchanged a glance.

"I don't know if it really matters at this point, but I think we should wear gloves to handle these things," Kate said slipping back into cop mode. Castle nodded, reached in the cabinet under the sink, and pulled out a box of gloves similar to the kind Lanie used in the morgue.

"We use them occasionally for cleaning – or science projects," Castle said in answer to Beckett's questioning look.

They each put gloves on. Kate grabbed some of the newspaper clippings and Castle started thumbing through the papers. The newspaper clippings covered the murder of undercover agent, Bob Armen, and another article was about the conviction of Pulgatti for his murder. Beckett's mother's murder was included. One clipping described Dick Coonan's death in the 12th precinct at the hands of Detective Beckett. There were a few other articles related to the various murders Coonan had committed.

"This isn't anything new," Kate said unable to disguise her disappointment. "What do you have?"

Castle met her eyes. "Montgomery has hand-written the whole story and signed it. It was written the day before he died. He must have felt that someday his signed statement would be necessary to bring down the dragon."

"Does he name the dragon?" Kate asked suddenly hopeful.

"It's Senator Bracken," Castle replied.

Kate gasped, "He was on the short list of vice presidential candidates in 2008 and they're building him up for a run at the presidency in 2016!"

Castle nodded. "He was the assistant district attorney when the mob kidnappings were occurring. He found out about Raglan and McCallister framing Pulgatti for Armen's murder and he blackmailed them to get his hands on the ransom money. That allowed him to start his political career and he has gained incredible influence and power and yet he looks squeaky clean to the public."

Kate shook her head. "He had me fooled. He always seemed so charming. He was so at ease in his interviews and I even thought he had good ideas."

Castle shrugged, "He may have good ideas, but he's still a ruthless bastard. He'd do anything to protect his position of power and he has to be brought down."

"What else is there?" Kate asked. So far, even with Montgomery's signed statement she didn't think there would be enough to bring him down.

"There's a copy of Bracken's bank statement with two $5000 withdrawals the same month that your mother was killed. There's also an undated picture of Bracken and Coonan meeting in a deserted area at night. There are a couple of other papers I haven't looked at yet."

"What about the CD? Is there any writing on it?"

"No," Castle replied. "Let's stick it in the computer and see what we have."

The CD contained audio recordings. Castle and Beckett listened in stunned silence as Bracken ordered hits on 4 people. The first was Beckett's mother. Bracken offered $5000 up front and $5000 when the job was done. Diane Cavanaugh and Scott Murray were the next 2 on the hit list. They were both killed the same day. The last hit was for Jennifer Stewart. It was obvious there were three separate meetings.

Kate's eyes were wide, "Where did this recording come from?"

"I think Coonan made the recordings himself so he would have leverage over the senator if he ever needed it. My guess is Montgomery discovered the recordings among Coonan's possessions and added it to his little stash of evidence. I'm sure there is no mention of it in evidence discovery. Coonan made a point of mentioning Bracken's name at some point in each meeting so this is very damning evidence."

"Oh my God, Castle. We really have enough now. We can really bring him down." Tears were glistening in Kate's eyes and her chin was quivering. It was so incredibly overwhelming to know that after all these years that her mother's murderer would finally be brought to justice. Castle engulfed her in an embrace.

"Your mother would be so proud of you, Kate." That was all it took for Kate to lose it. She started sobbing uncontrollably. She cried out of relief and cried for her mother and cried because she had someone to share this moment with. Her face was pressed into Castle's chest. Her left hand was at his chest, her fist wadding up his shirt.

"It's OK, Kate. Just let it out," Castle's soothing voice broke through the sounds of her sobs. She loved his voice. It was so calming. After a couple of minutes she let go of his shirt and wiped the tears off her face trying to get herself under control. She pulled away from Castle.

"I need to get some Kleenex," she said her breath still hitching. She went to the bathroom, blew her nose and washed her face.

When she came back out, she smiled somewhat weakly at Castle. "That cry has been building for 13 years."

"I know," he said gently as he gathered her in his arms and kissed her forehead. He just held her close for a couple more minutes.

"We need to figure out what to do with this information," Castle finally said.

"What do you mean? We need to get it to the precinct, put the case together and talk to the DA," Beckett said pulling away from Castle's arms.

Castle looked at her intently. "Just hear me out, Kate. Bracken will do anything to stop this information from getting out. I don't want us to have targets on our backs any more. I don't want this file connected to us in any way. I think we should make 6 or 7 copies of this and send it to 2 or 3 news agencies. We can send one copy to the FBI, one to the DA, one to the police commissioner, and keep one for ourselves. I don't know, maybe even send one to the Senate Ethics Committee. Bracken can't have everyone in his pocket and he can't kill everyone. He's a senator. If this information gets out, he will be ruined even without being convicted. We just need to make sure there are no ties to us that would make him want to retaliate against us. It's close enough to Smith's – I mean Craddock's – death that Bracken will believe Craddock had a failsafe set up in case anything happened to him. Of course he did, but no one needs to know that we were a part of that plan. Kate, there is no reason for us to be a part of this investigation any more. We haven't witnessed anything. We can't add anything to the evidence that is here."

"A part of me wants Bracken to know that Johanna Beckett's daughter is responsible for bringing him down, but I meant what I said earlier that I can't lose you now. What you're saying makes a lot of sense. With this amount of evidence, we don't need to be involved anymore."

"Castle, we have protected Montgomery so far. If we expose his statement, he will be disgraced. Maybe we could send on the evidence without his statement." Kate still wanted to protect her mentor and former captain – the man who gave up his life to protect her.

"Kate, I'll leave that up to you. I'm sure Montgomery expected this to get used at some point. Why else would he include a signed statement? The rest of the evidence should be enough to get Bracken on conspiracy to commit murder, but Montgomery's statement ties the whole story together and gives the motive for Bracken to want these people dead. He casts suspicion on Bracken for the murders of Raglan and McAllister. He even makes a case for Bracken being responsible for his own murder. It makes a much better case."

"I can't do it without talking to Evelyn first."

Castle nodded, "We'll go see her later this morning. Let's start making copies."

* * *

Just a few hours later, Castle and Beckett were sitting in Montgomery's living room. Evelyn sat nervously on a rather uncomfortable looking chair. When Beckett called she had told her their visit had to do with her husband's murder.

"So, have you found the man responsible?" Evelyn asked quietly.

"We've stumbled across some evidence that could be very damaging to the man responsible. Unfortunately, there was also some evidence that was damaging to Roy. Actually Roy signed a statement that described some illegal activities that he was involved in with some other cops. Their activities were the linchpin for all the murders that occurred later." Beckett gently laid out their dilemma for Evelyn. "I don't know if Roy ever told you the full story, but after he made some very bad decisions early in his career, he devoted his life to being the best cop possible. I have his statement here if you want to read it. I understand if you'd rather not know the details. Our dilemma is we want to protect Roy, but we are afraid that if we don't use Roy's statement that there may not be enough evidence to convict this man. We want to know how you feel about us releasing his statement knowing that he could be disgraced and you and the kids could lose your benefits."

Evelyn sat ramrod straight her hands folded in her lap. "I'd like to read his statement, please."

"We don't want you to have any more information than is necessary for your own protection. We blacked out a few pieces of information on your copy including the name of the man responsible," Beckett said as she handed over the papers. "We'll wait on the deck while you read it." Beckett covered Evelyn's hand with her own giving her a reassuring squeeze.

Out on the deck, Castle and Beckett discussed what they thought Evelyn would do. They touched on many other topics and finally Castle started playing a game on his iPhone. It was almost 45 minutes later when Evelyn finally appeared. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying, but she was completely composed.

"It was very hard reading this. Roy was a good man and a great cop. It kills me that he had to live with this secret eating away at him for all these years, but in a way I think his involvement in these things caused him to become a better person to try to atone for what he did."

"I want this man to pay for murdering my husband and your mother and for trying to murder you and all the others that he ordered hits on. It will be devastating to have Roy disgraced and it will be hard to lose his pension, but we will manage. He taught his children to do what is right and since he wrote this out by hand and signed it, he surely had the expectation that this would be used one day. You have my permission to do whatever you feel is necessary." Evelyn's chin was held high and her voice was clear and sure.

Castle stepped forward and put his hands on her shoulders. "You are a very brave woman, Evelyn."

Evelyn gave him a little smile, "I learned from the best."

"Evelyn, for everyone's safety, no one can ever know that we have any of this information or that you have read Roy's statement. You understand?" Beckett admonished.

Evelyn nodded, "Thank you for allowing me to make this decision. I'm sure you are putting yourselves in danger pursuing this. I really appreciate your efforts."

"Well this time we are doing our best to keep everyone safe," Beckett replied. They each gave her a hug before they left.


	18. Chapter 18

_Recap – Castle & Beckett discovered incriminating evidence behind a painting. It pointed to Senator Bracken being the dragon. _

Castle packed the cheap messenger bag carefully. Kate couldn't help smiling. He was so into the cloak and dagger stuff. He was like a kid getting ready for Halloween. They had decided they needed to make sure no one followed them when they mailed the evidence packages. Castle came up with a plan that Beckett agreed to so now they were ready to put it into motion.

"Well, wish me luck," Castle said as he slung the messenger bag over his shoulder. He was trying to be cool, but his eyes were shining with excitement and anticipation. Of course his plan had him being the one having all the fun. "I'll text you as soon as I'm done." He gave Kate a kiss goodbye.

Suddenly Kate started having second thoughts. "Castle," she hesitated worry creasing her brow. Then she smiled at him. It really was a good plan. They had never noticed anyone following them when they left the loft so they were likely taking all these precautions for nothing. She fiddled with the collar on his button down as though it needed adjusting then she patted his chest. "Knock 'em dead." She rolled her eyes at herself. What did she say that for?

Castle grinned at her. "See you at Remy's for lunch."

* * *

Castle arrived at Black Pawn just before 11. Gina was ready for him. "Here are the papers you wanted me to sign. Signed, sealed, delivered…hmm reminds me of a song." He couldn't help himself. He started singing, "_Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours_. Oh, well I used to be yours," he added with a sheepish grin.

Gina couldn't help but smile at his antics. "Speaking of which, you were really great on Jimmy Fallon's show. It looked like you were having a lot of fun."

Castle was surprised at the compliment. "Why thank you, Gina. We had a blast on his show."

"Have a seat, Rick. There are some other issues we need to discuss."

Rick sighed. Now he felt like a fly trapped in the spider web. He sat down and listened to Gina go on about various plans Black Pawn had for him. First and foremost was the fact that he was behind on the book. Once that was done, there would be book signings and other events some of which had already been scheduled. That made the deadlines even more critical. Castle knew he needed to buckle down more on the book, but he wasn't too interested in talking about all the upcoming events Black Pawn had already committed him to.

Then Gina mentioned a reading initiative that some of the elementary schools were doing. They were trying to get some famous authors to come in and read or discuss books. Castle's ears perked up. That was something he would be interested in doing. He quickly focused the conversation on the school visits and asked Gina to get more information about that. Then he stood up.

"Gina, I'm afraid I need to get going. I really didn't plan to be here this long." Gina tried to protest but Castle was already halfway out the door.

"Call me," he said as he backed out the door putting his hand to his face like it was a phone. Then he made his escape.

Castle bypassed the elevators and took the stairs down a flight. The restrooms were near the elevator. He entered the men's restroom and went into the handicap stall just in case anyone else came in. He quickly took off his shirt. He had a light blue t-shirt on underneath it. He pulled a light wind breaker out of the messenger bag and put that on. Next he pulled out a New York Yankees baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses and donned those as well. The last things in his messenger bag were a back pack and the evidence packages. He took out his handkerchief to handle the evidence packages. They were careful to wear gloves the whole time they were making copies and stuffing the envelopes. They went to great lengths to be sure nothing could be tied back to them. Castle even went so far as to get a burner phone so no one would be able to track him with his iphone.

He quickly stuffed the evidence packages and his button down into the backpack. As he left the restroom he shoved the messenger bag in the trash can.

Down in the lobby he exited the building through a side door instead of the main entrance that he used on the way in. It was 11:40 and there were a lot of people leaving the building for lunch so he blended in with the crowd. He walked two blocks and caught a taxi. Castle gave the driver an address 10 blocks away. He walked another 2 blocks and found the mailbox that they had scoped out earlier. As far as they could tell there were no security cameras covering the box. Again using his hanky, Castle quickly pulled the evidence packets out of his backpack and let them drop into the mailbox. He breathed a sigh of relief not even realizing how tense he had been. He walked away briskly.

After a couple of blocks he ducked into a department store. He quickly found a restroom and put his shirt back on. He fluffed up his hair trying to get rid of the 'just wore a cap' look. He stuffed his disguise into the backpack then stuffed the backpack into the trash.

Castle texted 'see you at lunch' to Kate. His whole body felt charged up from the adrenaline rush of his undercover operation. They'd successfully set the wheels in motion. He wanted to do backflips down the store aisles, but he managed to contain himself and instead he decided to shop around for a bit since he still had time before he was supposed to meet Kate.

* * *

As Castle entered Remy's, his eyes quickly scanned the occupants and almost immediately found Kate sitting close to the back. As his eyes met hers, his face split into a huge grin. It was infectious and Kate rewarded him with a matching grin. It didn't escape her notice that he was carrying a small gift bag. Castle slid into the booth next to her putting the little bag on the table in front of her. His eyes were twinkling like Christmas lights he was so pleased with himself for successfully completing his 'mission' and finding a gift for Kate.

"And just what is that?" Kate inquired nodding at the bag her tone sounding annoyed but her eyes telling a different story.

"That is for you," Castle answered nudging it a little closer.

"Is it something I can open here?" she asked suspiciously not wanting to pull out some naughty lingerie in the bustling restaurant.

"Of course. Open it up," Castle said just a tad impatiently.

Kate gingerly pulled the tissue out of the bag as though she was afraid something might bite her. She tilted the bag and peeked in then she smiled and pulled out a beautiful scarf. It had gold, turquoise, brown, green and other colors all subtly blended together. At the ends were a few subtle paisley shapes right before the delicate fringe.

"Oh, Castle, it's beautiful," she said as she arranged it around her neck. Castle knew better than to spend a lot of money on her. She was much more appreciative of a relatively inexpensive gift that obviously had thought put into it than an expensive piece of jewelry that had been grabbed up without a thought. Castle knew that he would spoil her with expensive jewelry too, but the occasion would have to be right and hopefully Kate would be more used to the fact that he had plenty of money to spoil her with.

"It looks beautiful on you," he murmured as he slightly adjusted the scarf. Kate leaned in and kissed his lips.

"Thank you," she said a little shyly hands still smoothing over the scarf.

The waitress came by interrupting their moment. They hadn't cracked open the menus but after all, this was Remy's and they pretty much always had the same thing. They quickly ordered.

"So how was your undercover operation?" Kate asked putting her hand on his thigh. They just seemed incapable of being close without touching each other.

"It went exactly as planned. As I suspected I got trapped in Gina's office longer than I wanted, but it wasn't a problem. As a matter of fact she brought up something that I found interesting." Castle went on to explain about the reading initiative for the schools. It was something that he really wanted to be a part of and even had a couple of ideas of his own of how he could interact with the kids. Kate thought it was a great idea.

Castle detailed the rest of his operation and ended by saying, "I probably would have made a great CIA agent."

Kate gave him a sideways look, "You realize all you did was mail letters?"

"It was more complicated than that," Castle protested a little crestfallen.

"Hey, no pouting. You did a great job." Kate grew a little more serious then said, "When do you think we'll see signs that something is happening with…the letters?"

Castle took her hand. "Even the news agencies will want to check facts before they print anything. Since we didn't include Montgomery's statement in the packets for the news agencies, they will have more trouble verifying the evidence. It could be a week maybe even a month or more before we see anything." They still had hopes that Montgomery wouldn't be disgraced. Since he gave up his life to try and stop the killings, and provided the statement to build the case against Bracken, maybe, just maybe, they will keep his name out of it.

A thorough investigation could take months. Of course, the bad part about being totally out of the investigation was that they would be in the dark not knowing if anyone was really pursuing it.

Kate nodded. The waiting was going to be so difficult.


	19. Chapter 19

They had only been back at the loft for a few minutes when Castle's phone went off.

"Hey Paula, what's up?" Castle was walking around the loft as he talked with his agent. Actually, he was mostly listening. "No kidding," Castle said sounding excited. "Of course, I'm interested!" He listened a few minutes more then suddenly looked at Beckett. "You're serious?" he said incredulously. "OK, well how about this afternoon?" Another brief pause. "Yeah, 3:30 would be fine. See you then."

He turned to Kate. "You won't believe this. Paula has received several job offers based on our appearance on Jimmy Fallon's show. I'm talking commercials and other things. Anyway, she wants us in her office at 3:30 to go over some of these offers." Castle was absolutely giddy.

"That's really great," Kate said not nearly as excited as Castle, "but why should I go?"

Castle snagged her in his arms. "Because you're my partner. You need to help me decide what offers are worth considering. Can't you just picture it? Seeing me on TV? Oh, I know, how about seeing me on the side of a bus?" Castle moved his hand through the air as though following along the side of the bus, his imagination running wild as he made no attempt to hide his excitement.

Kate laughed. He was such a child, but it was just one of the many things she loved about him. "On the side of a bus? Really? That's what you're going for?"

* * *

Paula stood up and greeted each of them warmly. "Come in, come in. This is so exciting. I enjoyed watching you both on Jimmy Fallon's show, but I never expected it to generate so many job offers." She was absolutely beaming at them as she motioned for them to sit. "I took the liberty of going through all the offers. I weeded out the undesirable ones, but there are still several good offers on the table."

Castle was leaning forward in his chair hanging on her every word.

"Now here is what I feel are the top two contenders," Paula continued, laying two separate offers on her desk. "The first one is a cologne commercial. This is a new cologne that they are calling 'Body Heat'. You can see how well that plays into your Nikki Heat book theme. They haven't laid out the actual script for the commercial, but I expect it will be a very dignified production that would likely play up your charming side. I'm familiar with their work and I'm sure this would be an outstanding opportunity."

"That just sounds perfect. Like you said it has the Heat connection which certainly won't be lost on my fans. What do think, Kate?"

"If you're wanting to do TV commercials, I think it would be a good fit, but we should probably hear about the other offers before we make any commitments," Kate replied.

"Don't forget, just because you decide on one doesn't mean that you can't do more. It's not an either/or choice," Paula explained.

"My other choice is an American Express commercial. They felt your good looks and easy smile would be perfect for their campaign. I think it would be a great fit for you, too. There is also a sitcom putting out some feelers to determine your interest in making a guest appearance. It's not a firm offer but if you're interested, we can get back to them and see if they want to pursue it."

"Anyway, I suggest you take these offers and look them over. I've included 3 other offers that you might want to check out. Let me know what ones you are interested in and we'll get the lawyers involved." Paula placed the offers in a folder and handed it to Castle.

"Now," Paula added pulling out some more papers, "I also have some offers for Miss Beckett."

Kate had been looking at Castle, happy that he was getting offers that he was obviously excited about, but now her head jerked back to Paula, surprise etched on her face. "Wh-What do you mean?"

Paula smiled, "You heard me right. You received some offers, too."

"But what for?" Kate asked incredulous.

"L'Oreal wants you for a hair dye spot and Swiffer wants you to mop some floors. You know, kind of a tough on crime, tough on grime parallel. That commercial might even require you to sing. Here are your offers." Paula reached out with the offers for Kate.

Kate shook her head and put up a hand in protest. "No, I-I'm not interested in anything like that." Kate glanced at Castle but he was smirking at her.

"You knew there were offers for me?" she asked.

"Paula told me on the phone." He reached for the offers Paula was holding. "We'll look these over too."

* * *

Kate and Rick sat at the dining table with the offers spread all over the table.

"I can picture you doing both of these commercials that Paula recommended. I don't care for the chewing gum and deodorant commercials. The car commercial might not be bad."

Castle was carefully reading through the offers. "Well, I don't want to be overexposed. I definitely won't do more than 2. I really like the cologne commercial. With the name 'Body Heat' they will surely tie it into my book series somehow so I might even get some free publicity. I like the idea of the American Express commercial, too. I think we'll let the lawyers check over those 2 offers for me." He turned to her with his eyes lit up. "I think it would be incredibly fun to have a small bit in a sitcom. I definitely want to reply to them. So which commercial do you want to do?"

"No, Castle," Kate said shaking her head, "I'm not doing any commercials. That's not for me. Doing a couple of talk shows is as far as I want to venture into showbiz – actually farther than I wanted to get into showbiz."

"Oh come on, Kate. Think about it. You're a natural and if you're doing a commercial, there wouldn't be an audience to make you nervous. I'm not going to let you decide until you sleep on it. If you still don't want to do it in the morning, then we'll turn the offers down."

Kate turned to face Castle. She put her hand on his arm. "Castle, I need to talk to you."

Castle's face was immediately serious. All men hate to hear the words 'we need to talk' and Castle was no exception. "What is it, Kate?" There was apprehension in his voice.

"Castle, I started thinking about some things after I talked to Espo the other day. It's really been weighing on my mind." Kate caught her lower lip between her teeth. "I've been wanting to talk to you but kept waiting for the right time. I need to be honest with you though so I can't wait any longer." She looked down at her hand on his arm and felt the need to remove it. She folded her hands on the table and stared at them for a few seconds. Castle's eyes narrowed slightly as the worry gnawed at his insides. He suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Kate finally took a deep breath and lifted her head to look at Castle. "I…I think I want to go back to being a detective."

"Son of a bitch!" Castle exclaimed letting out a long breath while dragging his hand over his face. Kate was afraid he wouldn't like it, but she didn't expect him to react like that.

"I mean, I don't have to go back. It's just something I was thinking about." Kate was suddenly talking fast. "Javi said I was born to be a detective, and I've been thinking about it a lot…"

"Kate!" Rick interrupted her. "You are going to be the death of me! My God, I thought you were breaking up with me! My heart is still pounding." His voice was laced with both relief and exasperation. Rick grabbed her hand and put it over his heart so she could feel how hard it was beating.

"Breaking up with you? Castle, are you nuts? Where did you get that idea?" Kate was totally caught off guard. He was holding her hand like his life depended on it, and she realized how scared he had been.

Castle searched her eyes. "Wait a minute. Is this because of your mother's case?"

"No, Castle," Kate said shaking her head emphatically. "We handed that off. No, this is about what I need to do to make my life fulfilling. I was a good cop. It was a job I loved, and I loved doing that job with you. I've tried to think what else I can do, and everything I think of doesn't come close to measuring up to being a cop. It's not only fulfilling in my life, but I also make a difference in other people's lives." She looked into Castle's eyes not sure what she was seeing there. "So, are you against it?" Kate asked hesitantly.

"Kate, I didn't ask you to give up being a detective. I wanted you to give up your mother's case so you wouldn't be killed. If you want to be a detective again, I am totally behind you. I'm behind you in anything you want to do. If you never want to work again I would be fine with it." He smiled at her. "I know you wouldn't be happy without a purpose in life." Castle brought her hand to his lips.

"So what are you going to do? Are you going to see Gates and beg for your job back?"

"Basically, I'll wait another week or 2 before I go. That will give us a little more time together. I don't know if I burned my bridges when I left, but if she lets me go back I would really like to have you by my side." She smiled lovingly at Rick.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," Castle said as he pulled Beckett into his arms and kissed her soundly.


	20. Chapter 20

Kate stepped off the elevator and entered the homicide division. The place was bustling as usual. A uniform was guiding a cuffed, loudly protesting suspect down the hall toward interrogation. Detectives were talking on their phones or writing on murder boards. There were 3 detectives standing together with their coffees laughing at some joke. It even smelled familiar – not a specific odor you could really describe. It was kind of a mixture of stale coffee and leftover take out foods, combined with other unique precinct smells. Kate felt a smile touch her lips. It felt like home.

She stopped short when she realized someone was sitting at her old desk. She frowned; of course someone had been assigned to her desk. After all she had resigned.

Just then Ryan looked up. Seeing Beckett he leaped to his feet almost knocking his chair over. Esposito followed his gaze then jumped up as well. They both hurried to Kate's side.

"Hey, Beckett," Ryan said in greeting, his blue eyes soft and welcoming.

"Yo," Espo said with a nod as he reached her side.

Kate smiled brightly at her boys. "Hey guys, how have you been?"

"Missing you," Javi replied.

"Yeah," Ryan echoed.

"Well, I'm here to try and fix that."

"You going to get your job back, Beckett?" Ryan asked eyes widening in delight.

Kate nodded, "I'm sure going to try." She glanced over at Gates' office suddenly getting very nervous.

"Beckett, don't worry about that guy at your desk. He's from Vice helping out on an overlapping case. Your desk is still free." Javi winked at her.

Kate grinned back, "Good to know. Well, wish me luck."

Kate felt like she was diving into a shark tank, but from the outside she looked totally composed as she knocked on Gates' door.

"Come in," came Captain Gates' voice.

"Sir, I was wondering if I could talk to you about my resignation."

Gates gave Beckett her normal stern look. "Shut the door. Come in and have a seat."

Beckett complied and as she sat down, Gates said, "Your resignation is all set. I don't think we have anything to discuss."

"Sir, I offered up my resignation in the heat of the moment. I've had time to reflect, and I regret my actions that day. I violated police procedure and put a fellow detective's life, as well as my own life in unnecessary danger. I'm truly sorry for my actions. I'd very much like to get my job back."

Gates' eyes narrowed as they bore holes through Beckett's skull. "Just how can I be sure that you wouldn't pull the same crap on your next case?"

"The only reason there was a problem to begin with is because I was blinded by wanting to get justice for my mother's murder. I've since realized that my mother wouldn't want me to throw away my life just to try to solve her murder. It won't bring her back. I'm still confident that someday her murder will be solved, but I've given up her case and won't be pursuing it anymore."

"Sir, I am a good detective. You know my work. I'm honest and hard-working and I want justice for the victims. No one has a better case closure rate than me and my team." Kate added knowing how important that was to Gates.

"Well, Miss Beckett," Kate almost winced at being called Miss instead of Detective. "You were certainly one of my best detectives, but your resignation has probably already been processed." Gates rummaged through her bottom file drawer and pulled out a folder labeled 'Beckett, Katherine'. She grabbed some papers out of it. Kate was hoping Gates would jump at the chance to get her back, but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

"Yes, these papers were filed almost a month ago," Gates waved the papers in the air for emphasis. Kate stayed silent feeling defeated not sure what else she could say. Gates scanned over the documents briefly. "Wait a minute. Oh my, it appears that I have made a terrible mistake. I must have accidentally grabbed the Personal Leave form instead of the Resignation form." Gates looked over her glasses at Beckett, a slight smirk on her face. "Well, **Detective**, it looks like you have to be back at work July 16."

Kate tried to smother the grin that threatened to take over her face. Gates didn't plan to let her go after all. Kate couldn't help but wonder if Gates would have come to her. OK, that seemed unlikely, but she was letting her back in. "Thank you, sir," Kate said trying not to gush as she stood up. "Uh, there is one more thing…"

"Mr. Castle can return as long as he continues to contribute to the investigations." Gates cut her off knowing full well what that one more thing was. She dismissed her with a wave of her hand.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," Kate said as she backed out of Gates' office, her huge grin letting the boys know immediately how it went.

* * *

Kate sat on the deck at Castle's home in the Hamptons watching Castle and Alexis build something in the sand down on the beach. She was going to have to go in and get some binoculars so she could see exactly what they were building, but right now she was just too comfortable to move.

Kate had been blown away by the huge, beautiful house with its private beach. It seemed kind of funny that Castle's summer getaway was 3 or 4 times as big as his main home in the city. They'd already been here 3 days, and Kate felt totally at home. Martha was still here, and they had done a lot of things together as a family. It felt so normal. Martha and Alexis accepted her into their lives with no hesitation and couldn't have made her feel more welcome. Kate still occasionally needed some alone time, but she found that she really welcomed family time now instead of being overwhelmed by it.

Castle told Kate that he wanted to do something special with Alexis and had told her to pick whatever she wanted to do. They were both surprised when Alexis told them she wanted all of them to go to the Hamptons for a week. They all decided 4th of July week would be perfect. Alexis' only 'time with Dad' request was to build a sand sculpture with him like they did every year.

Kate lay back on her lounge chair. She closed her eyes and soaked in the sun's warm rays. The sun's radiance felt energizing. It was in the 80s. A nice breeze brushed over her skin helping to keep her cool. It was just so pleasant. Kate hadn't been much of a sunbather since she was a teenager, but she really enjoyed relaxing and soaking in the sun this week.

She smiled as she remembered the look on Castle's face when she came out in her new bikini. Maybe he would have looked at her like that even if she had worn an old bikini. He just couldn't help reacting to her scantily clad body in spite of the fact that he slept with her every night. She loved tantalizing him. It just made it more delicious when they were together at night.

After another 20 minutes, Kate sat up. She could see that Castle and Alexis were still hard at work down on the beach. She decided to go into the house for a while, get a drink, and maybe find the binoculars so she could figure out what Castle and his daughter were working on so diligently. Kate was really getting curious now, but she was not going to intrude on their time together. She knew it would be cheating to get binoculars since their sculpture was supposed to be a surprise. She decided to be good and wait until they unveiled it to Martha and her.

Kate had been reading a book on her Kindle earlier and grabbed it off the end table as she made her way to the kitchen. She poured herself a big glass of lemonade and sat on one of the barstools. Martha wasn't around but had left the radio on, and Kate appreciated the background noise as she started reading again.

* * *

Last night Castle and Alexis had disappeared into his study. "We must develop top secret plans for Operation Sand Storm!" Castle exclaimed in his best mad scientist voice.

"Sand Storm?" Alexis questioned making a face.

"I was just trying to make it sound cool. So do you have any ideas for this year's sand sculpture?"

Alexis thought for a minute. "Actually I thought it would be neat to make something that represented Kate or just something that she would like. I don't know what though. I don't want to do her gun or badge or anything." Alexis' brow was furrowed in thought.

"I've got it!" Castle said excitedly. "Kate loves elephants. She always had elephants on her desk at work. Let's do an elephant for her."

"That's a great idea, Dad," Alexis said, her face lit up with excitement.

Both Castles immediately started making plans and sketching out concepts until they had the perfect design sketched out on paper. This year's sculpture was going to be a baby elephant lying on the ground lifting his head up like he was looking at them. Alexis had printed a couple of pictures off the internet to help them get the sculpture just right. They wouldn't tell Kate or Martha what they were working on until they had it finished. After they emerged from the study, Alexis found that she was so excited about the sculpture that she was having trouble keeping her mouth shut. It was so unlike her. Her dad was the one that always struggled to keep a secret. She decided to turn in early so she wouldn't let it slip. She could only hope that her dad would be able to keep quiet as well.

* * *

Castle and Alexis had been working for over 2 hours on their sculpture. Castle's shoulders had gotten a little too much sun the past couple of days so he was wearing an unbuttoned short sleeve shirt over his swim trunks. Alexis was wearing a beach cover up in addition to her SPF 45 sunscreen to help protect her fair skin.

Castle was delighted to be building another sculpture with Alexis. It was a wonderful way to reconnect with his daughter. Alexis would often share her worries and dreams with her dad as they worked. Castle always made her laugh with his funny stories or silly antics. Just working together was great. They never got mad at each other even when one of them caused part of a sculpture to collapse. They always worked together to solve whatever problems they encountered. It was a great bonding experience.

They had done this every year since Alexis was old enough to walk. The first 3 or 4 years they had built simple little sand castles surrounded by moats. Almost as soon as they would get them done, Alexis would stomp and jump on them, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. Suddenly, one year she wanted the castle to be perfect and wanted it to last forever. She cried when the waves washed it away. That was the start of Castle Sand Builders Extraordinaire. Naturally, Castle had t-shirts made up.

Every year their castles got more elaborate as they became more creative and learned from trial and error what techniques worked and which ones didn't. When Alexis was about 9 or 10, they started doing sculptures instead of castles. There was always a theme based on a movie or a life event or even a whim. One year they did a Shrek head. The year Alexis got her first cell phone, they built a huge cell phone in the sand.

Castle was concerned that maybe this would be the last year they would be able to do this. Alexis might have a job next year or a boyfriend or might just finally outgrow it. It just felt like his little girl was slipping away into adulthood, and Castle was trying to savor every second he got to spend with her. He had already taken several pictures of Alexis as she was working until she finally gave him an exasperated, "Daaad!"

"Sorry, Pumpkin," he said with a grin, "but I've got to have my memories." They went back to work. The basic form was in place and a lot of the detail work was done but one of the baby elephant's legs was causing them problems requiring them to alter their design a little for it to work.

"Castle!" Rick stood up as he heard Kate yell his name. Kate was running across the deck to the stairs. "Castle!" she yelled again as she started down the steps. Her voice was urgent. Castle shot an anxious look at Alexis before he started to run toward Beckett. As she reached the beach she stumbled, but her hand barely touched the sand before she was running again. Castle's mind was racing with terrible things that could have happened from Martha having a stroke to the loft burning down.

"What is it, Kate?" Castle yelled when they were within 20 yards of each other. Kate barely slowed down before she slammed into Castle. He caught her in his arms.

"Castle," she said breathlessly. "They arrested Bracken. I…I just heard it on the news. They've arrested him for murder!" Castle was stunned but his eyes softened at the good news. He picked Beckett up and spun her around.

"It's finally over, Kate. They did it without us. We aren't targets anymore." There was no disguising the joy in his voice. Beckett's eyes were shiny with happy tears. Castle brushed a strand of hair behind her ear then leaned down to kiss her. Her lips were soft and responsive. Their tongues touched and intertwined. Castle's hand was at the side of her face, his fingers tangled in her hair and his thumb gently stroked her temple. Kate's hand was on Rick's chest, and she finally gently pushed him back.

Kate gave him a radiant smile. "I feel like a huge storm cloud has finally passed us by. Finish your sculpture, Castle, then come find me." Kate turned and walked back toward the house.

Castle shamelessly stared at her ass and the sway of her hips as she walked away. She owned him heart and soul, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Now that Bracken had been captured, he knew they could plan their future together without fear of assassins hiding in the shadows.

Kate had been able to get justice for so many others, but the case that mattered the most to her seemed unsolvable. She had been consumed with the need to solve her mother's murder, and she felt guilty for letting her mother down. Now Kate would be free of that horrible burden – the injustice that hung over her head for so many years. Getting justice for her mother would free her forever.

Castle realized that Bracken was still a powerful, influential man. He would have the best lawyers. It was possible that he could get off on a technicality, but Castle knew that they had done all they could do. The most important thing was that Kate was not involved in the investigation that led to his arrest. If Bracken wanted to get even with those responsible for his downfall, he would have no reason to go after Kate. Having Kate safe was the only thing that mattered to him.

Tomorrow was the 4th of July. They had a lot to celebrate this year. Castle couldn't imagine life being any better. His heart was full of love and joy and gratitude. He smiled as he turned back toward Alexis and their sculpture.

* * *

_A/N You have my heartfelt thanks for sticking with this story - especially my faithful reviewers. Hope you enjoyed it!_


End file.
